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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • D Offline
    D Offline
    Doctor Phibes
    wrote on 27 May 2023, 20:54 last edited by
    #854

    A British couple decided to adopt a German baby. They raised him for years, however they began to get worried because he never spoke, and they believed that he was mentally handicapped, going as far as to take him to therapy, which was fruitless. Then, when the child was 8 years old, he had a Strudle, and said "It is a little tepid."

    His parents, of course shocked that he was suddenly speaking, asked: "Wolfgang, why have you never spoken before?", to which the child replied: "Up until now, everything had been satisfactory."

    I was only joking

    1 Reply Last reply
    • G Offline
      G Offline
      George K
      wrote on 2 Jun 2023, 12:00 last edited by
      #855

      I can't believe my girlfriend has dumped me just because I don't know how to read proper nouns correctly.

      She went off to work and left me a note saying, Nail polish cleaner.

      So I did. From behind.

      And now I'm single.

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • C Offline
        C Offline
        Catseye3
        wrote on 19 Jun 2023, 15:26 last edited by
        #856

        Link to video

        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

        1 Reply Last reply
        • C Offline
          C Offline
          Catseye3
          wrote on 24 Jun 2023, 16:07 last edited by
          #857

          California was the first state to make it illegal to smoke cigarettes indoors. Ever since then, the whole state has been on fire. -- Comic Tommy Drake

          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

          1 Reply Last reply
          • T Offline
            T Offline
            taiwan_girl
            wrote on 19 Jul 2023, 01:27 last edited by
            #858

            So,

            alt text

            J 1 Reply Last reply 19 Jul 2023, 01:37
            • T taiwan_girl
              19 Jul 2023, 01:27

              So,

              alt text

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Jon
              wrote on 19 Jul 2023, 01:37 last edited by
              #859

              @taiwan_girl said in So....:

              So,

              alt text

              Fewer.

              T 1 Reply Last reply 19 Jul 2023, 01:44
              • J Jon
                19 Jul 2023, 01:37

                @taiwan_girl said in So....:

                So,

                alt text

                Fewer.

                T Offline
                T Offline
                taiwan_girl
                wrote on 19 Jul 2023, 01:44 last edited by
                #860

                @Jon LOL

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Offline
                  J Offline
                  Jon
                  wrote on 19 Jul 2023, 11:54 last edited by
                  #861

                  I dropped my glasses in the toilet.

                  Now I can’t see shit.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    Jon
                    wrote on 26 Jul 2023, 14:14 last edited by
                    #862

                    I saw a microbiologist today.

                    He was much bigger than I expected.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • G Offline
                      G Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on 31 Jul 2023, 00:27 last edited by
                      #863

                      People are moaning about the weather.

                      At least it’s not snowing.

                      Imagine shoveling snow in this heat!

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 15 Aug 2023, 22:20 last edited by
                        #864

                        There's nothing like putting on a warm pair of underwear fresh from the dryer.

                        Plus its fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 20 Aug 2023, 11:21 last edited by
                          #865

                          It occurred to me that in order to not expose his identity, Batman was either driving the Batmobile uninsured or committing insurance fraud.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • G Offline
                            G Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on 27 Aug 2023, 12:54 last edited by
                            #866

                            image.jpeg

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 27 Aug 2023, 16:45 last edited by
                              #867

                              Cop: you were going extremely fast

                              Me: I was just trying to keep up with traffic.

                              Cop: But there isn’t any

                              Me: that’s how far behind I was.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 8 Sept 2023, 00:45 last edited by
                                #868

                                Me: Welcome to my man cave

                                Proctologist: Please stop calling it that

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                G 1 Reply Last reply 8 Sept 2023, 00:47
                                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc
                                  8 Sept 2023, 00:45

                                  Me: Welcome to my man cave

                                  Proctologist: Please stop calling it that

                                  G Offline
                                  G Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on 8 Sept 2023, 00:47 last edited by
                                  #869

                                  @jon-nyc .

                                  alt text

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on 10 Sept 2023, 22:23 last edited by
                                    #870

                                    My wife says I’m a sex machine.

                                    Actually, she says I'm a "fucking tool" but I know what she means.

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • G Offline
                                      G Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on 12 Sept 2023, 21:25 last edited by
                                      #871

                                      Screenshot 2023-09-12 at 4.25.10 PM.png

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 18 Sept 2023, 19:41 last edited by
                                        #872

                                        My friend Dwayne recently moved to Africa.

                                        I miss Dwayne, down in Africa.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on 29 Sept 2023, 12:12 last edited by jon-nyc
                                          #873

                                          I ordered a new axe from overseas.

                                          I always thought it would be cool to have a foreign axe sent.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          1 Reply Last reply
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