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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • LarryL Larry

    So....

    Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...

    So they can see their Air Force....

    IvorythumperI Offline
    IvorythumperI Offline
    Ivorythumper
    wrote on last edited by
    #652

    @Larry said in So....:

    So....

    Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...

    So they can see their Air Force Navy....

    FIFYNNTTM

    1 Reply Last reply
    • George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #653

      If Elon Musk came out as gay, would you oppose Musk man dates?

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #654

        I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman.

        In my experience you get far less pepper spray in them that way.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #655

          I met my girlfriend on tinder.

          Man that was awkward.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins Dad
            wrote on last edited by
            #656

            I’ve started seeing a girl… Fortunately, she hasn’t seen me, yet.

            The Brad

            1 Reply Last reply
            • Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3
              wrote on last edited by
              #657

              Q. Why is the sand wet?
              A. Because the sea weed.

              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

              IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
              • Catseye3C Offline
                Catseye3C Offline
                Catseye3
                wrote on last edited by
                #658

                "How am I supposed to trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?"

                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                1 Reply Last reply
                • LarryL Offline
                  LarryL Offline
                  Larry
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #659

                  So....

                  The sexual position known as 69 will henceforth be known as 96 as the cost of eating out has gone up...

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • Catseye3C Catseye3

                    Q. Why is the sand wet?
                    A. Because the sea weed.

                    IvorythumperI Offline
                    IvorythumperI Offline
                    Ivorythumper
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #660

                    @Catseye3 said in So....:

                    Q. Why is the sand wet?
                    A. Because the sea weed.

                    HAHA!

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • George KG Offline
                      George KG Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #661

                      The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

                      He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • George KG Offline
                        George KG Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #662

                        What pronouns does chocolate use?

                        Her/she.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #663

                          So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                          He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          brendaB 1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                            So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                            He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                            brendaB Offline
                            brendaB Offline
                            brenda
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #664

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                            He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                            Hubby loves this one! Very appropriate for us today, too. Thanks, Jon!

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #665

                              I found a hat with $17.50 in it.

                              At first I thought this other guy was going to pick it up. But he was too busy juggling.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • George KG Offline
                                George KG Offline
                                George K
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #666

                                I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                                Didn't work.

                                Tonight I will put it in the front.

                                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                brendaB 1 Reply Last reply
                                • George KG George K

                                  I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                                  Didn't work.

                                  Tonight I will put it in the front.

                                  brendaB Offline
                                  brendaB Offline
                                  brenda
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #667

                                  @George-K said in So....:

                                  I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                                  Didn't work.

                                  Tonight I will put it in the front.

                                  That's a version of the old joke about Sven and Ole going to the beach to get some girls. Ole asks Sven how it is that Sven gets all the girls' attention. Sven says, "Oh, ja, vell dat's cuz I put a potato in my svim trunks, doncha know."

                                  Ole is impressed with Sven's ingenuity, so he tries it the next day at the beach. To his dismay, it doesn't work at all. In fact, the girls like him even less than before.

                                  Ole asks Sven how it is that the potato trick didn't work for him. Sven replies, "Ya put it in da front, Ole! In da front!"

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #668

                                    After sex the other night, I was worried that I had ejaculated prematurely. But my wife assured me it was ok.

                                    It was a load off my mind.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • George KG Offline
                                      George KG Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #669

                                      The worst thing about getting gas right now is how long it takes to fill out the loan application.

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #670

                                        In dog beers I've only had one.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                          In dog beers I've only had one.

                                          Catseye3C Offline
                                          Catseye3C Offline
                                          Catseye3
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #671

                                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                          In dog beers I've only had one.

                                          You have to wonder about the mind responsible for this one . . .

                                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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