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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by
    #653

    If Elon Musk came out as gay, would you oppose Musk man dates?

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #654

      I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman.

      In my experience you get far less pepper spray in them that way.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #655

        I met my girlfriend on tinder.

        Man that was awkward.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • LuFins DadL Offline
          LuFins DadL Offline
          LuFins Dad
          wrote on last edited by
          #656

          I’ve started seeing a girl… Fortunately, she hasn’t seen me, yet.

          The Brad

          1 Reply Last reply
          • Catseye3C Offline
            Catseye3C Offline
            Catseye3
            wrote on last edited by
            #657

            Q. Why is the sand wet?
            A. Because the sea weed.

            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

            IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
            • Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3
              wrote on last edited by
              #658

              "How am I supposed to trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?"

              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

              1 Reply Last reply
              • LarryL Offline
                LarryL Offline
                Larry
                wrote on last edited by
                #659

                So....

                The sexual position known as 69 will henceforth be known as 96 as the cost of eating out has gone up...

                1 Reply Last reply
                • Catseye3C Catseye3

                  Q. Why is the sand wet?
                  A. Because the sea weed.

                  IvorythumperI Offline
                  IvorythumperI Offline
                  Ivorythumper
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #660

                  @Catseye3 said in So....:

                  Q. Why is the sand wet?
                  A. Because the sea weed.

                  HAHA!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • George KG Offline
                    George KG Offline
                    George K
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #661

                    The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

                    He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • George KG Offline
                      George KG Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #662

                      What pronouns does chocolate use?

                      Her/she.

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #663

                        So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                        He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        brendaB 1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                          So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                          He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                          brendaB Offline
                          brendaB Offline
                          brenda
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #664

                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                          So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                          He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                          Hubby loves this one! Very appropriate for us today, too. Thanks, Jon!

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #665

                            I found a hat with $17.50 in it.

                            At first I thought this other guy was going to pick it up. But he was too busy juggling.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #666

                              I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                              Didn't work.

                              Tonight I will put it in the front.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              brendaB 1 Reply Last reply
                              • George KG George K

                                I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                                Didn't work.

                                Tonight I will put it in the front.

                                brendaB Offline
                                brendaB Offline
                                brenda
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #667

                                @George-K said in So....:

                                I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                                Didn't work.

                                Tonight I will put it in the front.

                                That's a version of the old joke about Sven and Ole going to the beach to get some girls. Ole asks Sven how it is that Sven gets all the girls' attention. Sven says, "Oh, ja, vell dat's cuz I put a potato in my svim trunks, doncha know."

                                Ole is impressed with Sven's ingenuity, so he tries it the next day at the beach. To his dismay, it doesn't work at all. In fact, the girls like him even less than before.

                                Ole asks Sven how it is that the potato trick didn't work for him. Sven replies, "Ya put it in da front, Ole! In da front!"

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #668

                                  After sex the other night, I was worried that I had ejaculated prematurely. But my wife assured me it was ok.

                                  It was a load off my mind.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • George KG Offline
                                    George KG Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #669

                                    The worst thing about getting gas right now is how long it takes to fill out the loan application.

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #670

                                      In dog beers I've only had one.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                        In dog beers I've only had one.

                                        Catseye3C Offline
                                        Catseye3C Offline
                                        Catseye3
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #671

                                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                        In dog beers I've only had one.

                                        You have to wonder about the mind responsible for this one . . .

                                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #672

                                          So… I spent last night defrosting the fridge.

                                          Or foreplay, as she likes to call it.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          1 Reply Last reply
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