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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • LarryL Offline
    LarryL Offline
    Larry
    wrote on last edited by Larry
    #577

    I was watching a really strange porno movie the other day. 30 minutes of some old guy sitting there wanking off and crying....

    Then I noticed I'd forgotten to turn on the tv...

    1 Reply Last reply
    • LarryL Offline
      LarryL Offline
      Larry
      wrote on last edited by Larry
      #578

      I called the rape advice hotline the other day..

      Apparently it's intended for only victims....

      1 Reply Last reply
      • LarryL Offline
        LarryL Offline
        Larry
        wrote on last edited by
        #579

        We couldnt decide if we wanted to bury my mother in law or have her cremated...

        So in the end we decided to let her live....

        1 Reply Last reply
        • LarryL Offline
          LarryL Offline
          Larry
          wrote on last edited by
          #580

          My wife told me the best way to perform oral sex was to spell out the alphabet with my tongue.

          I got pretty good at it too..

          She left me for some Chinese guy....

          1 Reply Last reply
          • LarryL Offline
            LarryL Offline
            Larry
            wrote on last edited by
            #581

            When i was young my mother would say "just look at your messy room!! You'll never get a decent, self respecting girl to come back here.."

            Luckily, those weren't the ones I was going for.....

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #582

              I’m pretty excited, I just got final confirmation from my loan officer.

              I’m closing on a full tank of gas this weekend.

              You were warned.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • LarryL Offline
                LarryL Offline
                Larry
                wrote on last edited by
                #583

                My wife told me I wasn't romantic enough...

                A while ago we were on the couch kissing and she said "what do you say we take this to the bedroom?"

                I said "ok... you get that end...."

                1 Reply Last reply
                • LarryL Offline
                  LarryL Offline
                  Larry
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #584

                  Why is it that when women go to the bathroom in pairs no one cares, but when I did it they threw me out of the restaurant?

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • LarryL Offline
                    LarryL Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #585

                    I recently lost my thesaurus.

                    I just can't find the words to describe how upset I am....

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • LarryL Offline
                      LarryL Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #586

                      I just finished reading a book on Stockholm Syndrome.

                      It started out really bad but by the time I got to the end I loved it.....

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #587

                        I checked Kelly Blue Book to see the value of my car.

                        It asked me if the tank was empty or full.

                        You were warned.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #588

                          Gas has gotten so expensive, rappers are now drinking it in music videos.

                          You were warned.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #589

                            My new girlfriend is 7’4”

                            This might be TMI, but she loves it when I go up on her.

                            You were warned.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • George KG George K referenced this topic on
                            • George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #590

                              I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins.

                              I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #591

                                What's the difference between Disney and PornHub?

                                Disney wants you to hate your stepmom.

                                You were warned.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Offline
                                  LarryL Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #592

                                  So....

                                  This big, burly, mean looking guy says to me "if you saw me breaking into your house one night, would you call 911"

                                  I said "nope. I'd call 811."

                                  He says "why would you call 811 instead of 911?"

                                  I said "911 is who you call when you need help. 811 is who you call before you dig."

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #593

                                    So I went to the sperm bank yesterday.

                                    The lady asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup.

                                    I said “I’m good but I’m not ready to compete in a tournament quite yet”.

                                    You were warned.

                                    Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                                    • George KG Offline
                                      George KG Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #594

                                      She: "Hey, JC! Don't go to the office today!"

                                      He: "Thanks for the tip, Cal, but I have work to do."

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                        So I went to the sperm bank yesterday.

                                        The lady asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup.

                                        I said “I’m good but I’m not ready to compete in a tournament quite yet”.

                                        Catseye3C Offline
                                        Catseye3C Offline
                                        Catseye3
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #595

                                        @jon-nyc “I’m good but I’m not ready to compete in a tournament quite yet”.

                                        ROFL!!!

                                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • George KG Offline
                                          George KG Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #596

                                          BREAKING NEWS!

                                          Police are warning of a large volume of fake passports and photo driving licences hitting the black market today.

                                          Beware the IDs of March...

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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