So....

[George K]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

[LuFins Dad]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

Okay, that is stolen… Edit… @George-K LMFAO

[jon-nyc]

I have a fear of over-engineered buildings.

It’s a complex complex complex.

[LuFins Dad]

Did you see the Origami Championship on TV last night? It was Pay Per View…

[jon-nyc]

There's no need to tailgate me in the slow lane, especially when I'm going 35mph over the speed limit.

And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.

[Catseye3]

@george-k said in So....:

"Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

[jon-nyc]

Remember - taking the vegetables off your double bacon cheeseburger reduces the amount of calories consumed.

[jon-nyc]

Boobs are like train sets. They’re met for kids but dads love them too.

Oh, and you can do more with the bigger sets.

[jon-nyc]

So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.

In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.

[jon-nyc]

So… I bought a wheelbarrow for my testicles.

It drives me nuts.

[George K]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.
In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.

I SO wanted to share that, but...nah.

[jon-nyc]

I don't like the word xenophobia. It just sounds foreign to me.

[George K]

My daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie, so I said, “Hey, the 90s’ called!”

And she replied, “Yeah, because they couldn’t text.”

Goddammit! I’m tired of my kids owning me.

[jon-nyc]

I was really struggling to get my wife's attention....

So I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable. That did the trick.

[Larry]

I told my wife I wanted to switch places with her.

She said "ok... you do the ironing and I'll lay on the couch and fart.."

[Catseye3]

Q. What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around a television watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Cleveland Browns.

[George K]

@catseye3 said in So....:

Q. What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around a television watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Cleveland Browns.

OK, I literally LOL'ed at that one.

[Catseye3]

@george-k said in So....:

OK, I literally LOL'ed at that one.

George, you're in danger of losing your football non-fan status.

[George K]

@catseye3 said in So....:

George, you're in danger of losing your football non-fan status.

D2 lives in Milwaukee. I changed the punchline and emailed it to her, just to piss her off.

And, the other football joke I know:

Q: Why doesn't Milwaukee have a professional football team?

A: Because if they did, Chicago would want one too.

[Catseye3]

A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl.
"It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?"
"Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student.
"Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?"
"Then I'd be a football fan."