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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 85.4k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #487

    Friends are like giraffes.

    If you shoot them, they die.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #488

      What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

      “Where’s my tractor????”

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #489

        In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

        It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        George KG LuFins DadL 2 Replies Last reply
        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

          In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

          It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

          George KG Offline
          George KG Offline
          George K
          wrote on last edited by
          #490

          @jon-nyc said in So....:

          In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

          It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

          alt text

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

            In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

            It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins Dad
            wrote on last edited by LuFins Dad
            #491

            @jon-nyc said in So....:

            In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

            It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

            Okay, that is stolen… Edit… @George-K LMFAO

            The Brad

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #492

              I have a fear of over-engineered buildings.

              It’s a complex complex complex.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • LuFins DadL Offline
                LuFins DadL Offline
                LuFins Dad
                wrote on last edited by
                #493

                Did you see the Origami Championship on TV last night? It was Pay Per View…

                The Brad

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #494

                  There's no need to tailgate me in the slow lane, especially when I'm going 35mph over the speed limit.

                  And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • George KG George K

                    Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

                    Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral.

                    However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

                    One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

                    The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him,
                    "Do you notice anything different about me?"

                    The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

                    The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

                    The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."

                    The Admiral threw him out as well.

                    The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

                    To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."

                    The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

                    "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.

                    The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

                    Catseye3C Offline
                    Catseye3C Offline
                    Catseye3
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #495

                    @george-k said in So....:

                    "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

                    7c536b33-f2d3-4f3c-9887-5315c8c4308b-image.png

                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #496

                      Remember - taking the vegetables off your double bacon cheeseburger reduces the amount of calories consumed.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • George KG George K referenced this topic on
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #497

                        Boobs are like train sets. They’re met for kids but dads love them too.

                        Oh, and you can do more with the bigger sets.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #498

                          So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.

                          In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #499

                            So… I bought a wheelbarrow for my testicles.

                            It drives me nuts.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                              So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.

                              In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.

                              George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #500

                              @jon-nyc said in So....:

                              So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.
                              In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.

                              I SO wanted to share that, but...nah.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #501

                                I don't like the word xenophobia. It just sounds foreign to me.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • George KG Offline
                                  George KG Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #502

                                  My daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie, so I said, “Hey, the 90s’ called!”

                                  And she replied, “Yeah, because they couldn’t text.”

                                  Goddammit! I’m tired of my kids owning me.

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #503

                                    I was really struggling to get my wife's attention....

                                    So I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable. That did the trick.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #504

                                      I told my wife I wanted to switch places with her.

                                      She said "ok... you do the ironing and I'll lay on the couch and fart.."

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • Catseye3C Offline
                                        Catseye3C Offline
                                        Catseye3
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #505

                                        Q. What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around a television watching the Super Bowl?

                                        A. The Cleveland Browns.

                                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • Catseye3C Catseye3

                                          Q. What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around a television watching the Super Bowl?

                                          A. The Cleveland Browns.

                                          George KG Offline
                                          George KG Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #506

                                          @catseye3 said in So....:

                                          Q. What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around a television watching the Super Bowl?

                                          A. The Cleveland Browns.

                                          OK, I literally LOL'ed at that one.

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
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