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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • LarryL Offline
    LarryL Offline
    Larry
    wrote on last edited by
    #244

    Ad for the Flat Earth Society:

    "We have members all around the globe!"

    1 Reply Last reply
    • LarryL Offline
      LarryL Offline
      Larry
      wrote on last edited by
      #245

      Scientific fact:

      It is impossible for a man to use a studfinder without first scanning himself with it and then announcing to the room "found one!"

      1 Reply Last reply
      • LarryL Offline
        LarryL Offline
        Larry
        wrote on last edited by
        #246

        Bubba went to Longhorns and ordered a huge ribeye steak.

        After a while his waitress came to his table and asked "How did you find your steak, sir?"

        Bubba said " I just looked next to the taters and there it wuz!!"

        1 Reply Last reply
        • LarryL Offline
          LarryL Offline
          Larry
          wrote on last edited by
          #247

          I was curious why there were so many stories about vampires in Europe, but none in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.....

          And as we all know.... they bless the rains down in Africa....

          1 Reply Last reply
          • LarryL Offline
            LarryL Offline
            Larry
            wrote on last edited by
            #248

            So.....

            Never date a tennis player.

            Love means nothing to them....

            1 Reply Last reply
            • LarryL Offline
              LarryL Offline
              Larry
              wrote on last edited by
              #249

              So.. today I passed a Ford car dealership named Harrison Ford. Huge building with huge blue letters that said Harrison Ford.

              I thought "what's next - Liam Nissan?"

              1 Reply Last reply
              • LarryL Offline
                LarryL Offline
                Larry
                wrote on last edited by
                #250

                I wrote a book on reverse psychology.

                Don't buy it.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • LarryL Offline
                  LarryL Offline
                  Larry
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #251

                  So...

                  How do you get a guitar player to stop playing?

                  Put sheet music in front of him...

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • LarryL Offline
                    LarryL Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #252

                    When i was a kid my dad used to put me inside a car tire and roll me down a hill.

                    Ah, those were good years.....

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • George KG George K

                      @larry

                      Link to video

                      taiwan_girlT Offline
                      taiwan_girlT Offline
                      taiwan_girl
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #253

                      @george-k said in So....:

                      @larry

                      Link to video

                      They have a fun website with other of their pranks. Lots of fun. 🙂

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • LarryL Offline
                        LarryL Offline
                        Larry
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #254

                        So... a democrat looked at the huge bale of hay and said "What's that?"

                        I said "the cattle eat it.."

                        The democrat said "Wow, that must be a huge cat!"

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #255

                          Michael Jackson was way ahead of his time. Way back in the 90s he was using a mask, wearing gloves, and injecting bleach.

                          You were warned.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #256

                            Don't get mad at lazy people. They didn't do anything.

                            You were warned.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #257

                              So.... I saw these two blind guys fighting.

                              You should have seen their faces when I said ‘my money’s on the guy with the knife.’

                              You were warned.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • X Online
                                X Online
                                xenon
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #258

                                Why are Republicans against impeachment?

                                They believe in carrying babies to full term.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #259

                                  I just saw four homeless men giving each other the vaccine under a bridge. What a caring community we live in.

                                  You were warned.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #260

                                    A guy was admitted to ER last night with 24 plastic horses inserted into his rectum.

                                    Doctors described his condition as stable.

                                    You were warned.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #261

                                      So... this homeless guy asked me for money today. I looked in my pocket and all I had was a $20 bill.

                                      "Do I really want this money going towards drugs"?, I thought to myself. "Nah"!

                                      So I gave him the $20.

                                      You were warned.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • brendaB Offline
                                        brendaB Offline
                                        brenda
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #262

                                        Sven and Ole work together in the City Parks Department, and with the beginning of spring, it’s time to fertilize the grass.

                                        Sven looks at all the bags of fertilizer and sees various numbers behind some long words, like phosphorus, potassium, and nitrates. He’s completely bewildered about which bag to use.

                                        Sven: “Say, Ole, look at dis here list of t’ings on dis here bag. Vat in the vorld are ‘p-hoss-p-hor-us’, ‘po-ta-toe-see-um’, and ‘nit-rates’?”

                                        Ole: “Holy cow, Sven, I never heard of dat first vun. Ve bedder not use dat. Now dat next vun, dat potatoes vun, dat is no good for us to use. Ve’re not plantin’ potatoes for da City! But dat t’ird vun, you said dat vun all wrong. It’s not for nits, or Lena wudda been usin’ it on yer head already! Dat’s nite-rates, and I know about dat vun.”

                                        Ole smiles and puffs his chest out with pride for knowing more than Sven about this one, and says, “Dat’s da good vun. Dat vun’s a good t’ing, cuz Lena told me dat nite-rates are alvays better dan day rates.”

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #263

                                          If you fall off your horse and scrape your butt really badly, can you get a skin graft from a donor?

                                          Arse skin for a friend.

                                          You were warned.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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