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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • LarryL Offline
    LarryL Offline
    Larry
    wrote on last edited by
    #252

    When i was a kid my dad used to put me inside a car tire and roll me down a hill.

    Ah, those were good years.....

    1 Reply Last reply
    • George KG George K

      @larry

      Link to video

      taiwan_girlT Offline
      taiwan_girlT Offline
      taiwan_girl
      wrote on last edited by
      #253

      @george-k said in So....:

      @larry

      Link to video

      They have a fun website with other of their pranks. Lots of fun. 🙂

      1 Reply Last reply
      • LarryL Offline
        LarryL Offline
        Larry
        wrote on last edited by
        #254

        So... a democrat looked at the huge bale of hay and said "What's that?"

        I said "the cattle eat it.."

        The democrat said "Wow, that must be a huge cat!"

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #255

          Michael Jackson was way ahead of his time. Way back in the 90s he was using a mask, wearing gloves, and injecting bleach.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #256

            Don't get mad at lazy people. They didn't do anything.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #257

              So.... I saw these two blind guys fighting.

              You should have seen their faces when I said ‘my money’s on the guy with the knife.’

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • X Offline
                X Offline
                xenon
                wrote on last edited by
                #258

                Why are Republicans against impeachment?

                They believe in carrying babies to full term.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #259

                  I just saw four homeless men giving each other the vaccine under a bridge. What a caring community we live in.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #260

                    A guy was admitted to ER last night with 24 plastic horses inserted into his rectum.

                    Doctors described his condition as stable.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #261

                      So... this homeless guy asked me for money today. I looked in my pocket and all I had was a $20 bill.

                      "Do I really want this money going towards drugs"?, I thought to myself. "Nah"!

                      So I gave him the $20.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • brendaB Offline
                        brendaB Offline
                        brenda
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #262

                        Sven and Ole work together in the City Parks Department, and with the beginning of spring, it’s time to fertilize the grass.

                        Sven looks at all the bags of fertilizer and sees various numbers behind some long words, like phosphorus, potassium, and nitrates. He’s completely bewildered about which bag to use.

                        Sven: “Say, Ole, look at dis here list of t’ings on dis here bag. Vat in the vorld are ‘p-hoss-p-hor-us’, ‘po-ta-toe-see-um’, and ‘nit-rates’?”

                        Ole: “Holy cow, Sven, I never heard of dat first vun. Ve bedder not use dat. Now dat next vun, dat potatoes vun, dat is no good for us to use. Ve’re not plantin’ potatoes for da City! But dat t’ird vun, you said dat vun all wrong. It’s not for nits, or Lena wudda been usin’ it on yer head already! Dat’s nite-rates, and I know about dat vun.”

                        Ole smiles and puffs his chest out with pride for knowing more than Sven about this one, and says, “Dat’s da good vun. Dat vun’s a good t’ing, cuz Lena told me dat nite-rates are alvays better dan day rates.”

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #263

                          If you fall off your horse and scrape your butt really badly, can you get a skin graft from a donor?

                          Arse skin for a friend.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                            #264

                            Two married women go out for a girls night out, and end up getting really drunk.

                            Walking home, they both have to pee, so they sneak into a graveyard. As they had nothing to wipe with, one woman used her panties and the other grabbed a wreath off of a nearby grave.

                            The next day, one of the husbands called the other and said "No more nights out, my wife came home with no panties".

                            The other said, "you think that's bad, my wife had a card in her crack that said 'from all of us at the firehouse, we will never forget you'".

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                              Two married women go out for a girls night out, and end up getting really drunk.

                              Walking home, they both have to pee, so they sneak into a graveyard. As they had nothing to wipe with, one woman used her panties and the other grabbed a wreath off of a nearby grave.

                              The next day, one of the husbands called the other and said "No more nights out, my wife came home with no panties".

                              The other said, "you think that's bad, my wife had a card in her crack that said 'from all of us at the firehouse, we will never forget you'".

                              Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3C Offline
                              Catseye3
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #265

                              @jon-nyc ROFL!!! Srsly.

                              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #266

                                People who confuse “burrow” and “burro” don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #267

                                  Her: Can I get a light roast?

                                  Barista: Sure. Your tits are small but I’d still smash.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • George KG Offline
                                    George KG Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #268

                                    Hey @Doctor-Phibes !

                                    An Englishman is hiking in Scotland and drinks from a stream. A shepherd passing says "Dinnae drink frae that, it's fulla coo piss an shite!"

                                    The Englishman says "Please say that in the Queen's English?"

                                    The Shepherd says "Sorry sir, would you like this cup for a proper drink?"

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #269

                                      Claustrophobia is a fear of closed spaces.

                                      For example, it’s 10pm and I need to go to the liquor store but I’m afraid it’s closed.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #270

                                        A nurse walks into her bank after an exhausting 12hr shift.

                                        She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.

                                        When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the teller and says “oh great, some asshole’s got my pen”.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • George KG Offline
                                          George KG Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #271

                                          Heisenberg, Schrödinger and Ohm are riding in a car.

                                          They get pulled over Heisenberg is driving and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

                                          "No, but I know exactly where I am," Heisenberg replies.

                                          The cop says, "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts, "Great! Now I'm lost!"

                                          The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop the trunk. He checks it out and calls out, "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

                                          "We do now, asshole!" Schrödinger shouts.

                                          The cop moves to arrest them, but Ohm resists.

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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