So....
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wrote on 15 Dec 2020, 18:47 last edited by
Her: You never listen to me. You only hear what you want to hear.
Me: Sure, I’ll have a beer.
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wrote on 16 Dec 2020, 00:19 last edited by
When I’m with my Spanish speaking friends I like to say “mucho”.
It means a lot to them.
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wrote on 16 Dec 2020, 22:47 last edited by
I used to have a masturbation addiction but I had to stop.
It was getting out of hand...
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wrote on 16 Dec 2020, 22:56 last edited by
I do my best thinking after sex...
I came to realize.
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wrote on 18 Dec 2020, 22:33 last edited by
I bought a new porn DVD today and all I could see was a dark image of a fat guy holding his dong.
Then I realized the TV wasn't on.
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wrote on 18 Dec 2020, 23:20 last edited by
I went to a child psychologist.
He was 7 years old......
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wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 11:47 last edited by jon-nyc
The car salesman told me “this car will hold five people without any problems”.
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find five people without any problems.”
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wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 19:21 last edited by
Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.
But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.
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Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.
But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.
wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 20:49 last edited by -
Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.
But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.
wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 20:49 last edited by -
wrote on 21 Dec 2020, 21:45 last edited by
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wrote on 23 Dec 2020, 02:11 last edited by
Officer: What’s that in the bottle?
Me: Oh that’s just water.
Officer: No it isn’t, it’s wine.
Me: OMG. Jesus did it again!
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wrote on 23 Dec 2020, 15:59 last edited by
So...
Housewarming parties are the number one cause of homelessness... in the Eskimo community..
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wrote on 23 Dec 2020, 16:19 last edited by brenda
@lufins-dad said in So....:
Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.
But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.
Stolen
Well, that didn't take long for you to find the right occasion.
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wrote on 25 Dec 2020, 19:33 last edited by
So.. how do you tell if a computer programmer is an introvert or an extrovert?
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If he's an introvert he stares at his shoes.
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If he's an extrovert, he stairs at YOUR shoes..,., -
wrote on 27 Dec 2020, 01:23 last edited by
So .... On January 1st, 12:00:01 a.m, for the first time ever, hindsight will in fact be 2020.
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wrote on 29 Dec 2020, 02:18 last edited by
So... I’m sitting in ER. Don’t really want to share too many details but let’s just say the “Dyson Ball Cleaner” is a very misleading name.
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wrote on 29 Dec 2020, 22:15 last edited by
So.. i accidentally sprayed deoderant in my mouth...
Now I have a strange Axe scent....
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wrote on 29 Dec 2020, 22:16 last edited by
Never buy flowers from a monk.
Remember - only YOU can prevent florist friars....
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wrote on 29 Dec 2020, 22:23 last edited by
My wife: have you heard of Murphy's Law?
Me: yes.
Wife: what is it?
Me: if something can go wrong, it will.Wife: have you heard of Cole's Law?
Me: No. What is It?
Wife: Thinly sliced cabbage...