So....
-
The car salesman told me “this car will hold five people without any problems”.
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find five people without any problems.”
-
Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.
But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.
-
-
Officer: What’s that in the bottle?
Me: Oh that’s just water.
Officer: No it isn’t, it’s wine.
Me: OMG. Jesus did it again!
-
@lufins-dad said in So....:
Go to the animal shelter to get a dog and you're a saint.
But go to the women's shelter for a new girlfriend and everybody loses their mind.
Stolen
Well, that didn't take long for you to find the right occasion.
-
So .... On January 1st, 12:00:01 a.m, for the first time ever, hindsight will in fact be 2020.
-
So... I’m sitting in ER. Don’t really want to share too many details but let’s just say the “Dyson Ball Cleaner” is a very misleading name.
-
Rules for a successful marriage:
The couple had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage. The husband was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation.
"It's simple," he said. "Division of labor. My wife makes all the small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, where we go on vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my job, and so on."
"And you?"
"I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if the United States should declare war on China, if Congress should appropriate money for a manned expedition to Mars, and so on."
-
My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it’s called “Why are you doing it that way?” and there are no winners.
-
So... I baked some synonym buns today.
Just like the ones grammar used to make.