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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #1062

    I’m at the airport and a woman fainted at baggage claim and fell onto the carousel.

    But she’s slowly coming around now.

    Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #1063

      After a fair bit of drinking I decided to take a bus home. It probably sounds like it’s not a big deal but I’ve never actually driven a bus before.

      Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #1064

        Trojan is a terrible name for a condom.

        It’s basically named after something that penetrated the stronghold, broke open, thousands of little guys poured out, and ruined everyone’s lives.

        Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #1065

          If I win the lottery I’m giving a bunch of money to charity.

          Unless she’s not dancing that night in which case I’ll give it to Destiny.

          Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #1066

            Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

            Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

            1 Reply Last reply
            • MikM Offline
              MikM Offline
              Mik
              wrote on last edited by
              #1067

              You have a great team inside behind you.

              "You cannot subsidize irresponsibility and expect people to become more responsible." — Thomas Sowell

              1 Reply Last reply
              • Andrea BA Offline
                Andrea BA Offline
                Andrea B
                wrote on last edited by
                #1068

                The Mexican Maid asked for a pay rise. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want more pay?”

                Maria: “Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increase. The first eez that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”

                Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.” Wife: “Oh yeah?” Maria: “The second reason eez that I am better cook than you.”

                Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?” Maria: “Jor hozban deed.”

                Wife increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?” Maria: “The third reason is that I a’m a better at make love than you in the bed.”

                Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, “And did my husband say that as well?”

                Maria: “No Senora, the gardener.

                I love you long time.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #1069

                  Hahahajahaha

                  Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #1070

                    Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the 28th time.

                    Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote last edited by
                      #1071

                      40 years ago today, l asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend and the most gorgeous woman l know to marry me.

                      All three said no.

                      Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote last edited by
                        #1072

                        So there’s this common misconception that autistic people take everything literally.

                        I’m autistic, so I can tell you… that’s just not true.

                        The people who actually take things literally are kleptomaniacs.

                        I just have autism.

                        Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote last edited by
                          #1073

                          I only believe in 12.5% of gods.

                          I’m an eighthiest.

                          Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • A Offline
                            A Offline
                            AndyD
                            wrote last edited by AndyD
                            #1074

                            https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18ygBZeJyd/
                            'Wine in a Can'
                            A short poem that gets increasingly funny (not that you'd recite it at a Christmas party😄)

                            Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                            😊
                            • A AndyD

                              https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18ygBZeJyd/
                              'Wine in a Can'
                              A short poem that gets increasingly funny (not that you'd recite it at a Christmas party😄)

                              Doctor PhibesD Offline
                              Doctor PhibesD Offline
                              Doctor Phibes
                              wrote last edited by
                              #1075

                              @AndyD said:

                              https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18ygBZeJyd/
                              'Wine in a Can'
                              A short poem that gets increasingly funny (not that you'd recite it at a Christmas party😄)

                              That's brilliant.

                              I was only joking

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • MikM Offline
                                MikM Offline
                                Mik
                                wrote last edited by
                                #1076

                                It is, and I feel the same way.

                                "You cannot subsidize irresponsibility and expect people to become more responsible." — Thomas Sowell

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #1077

                                  Why do women have two sets of lips?

                                  One for arguing, one for apologizing.

                                  Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #1078

                                    For the first time yesterday I went for a run with my Apple watch.

                                    It asked me if my life was in danger or if tacos were on sale for $1 again.

                                    Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                                    1 Reply Last reply

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