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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.1k Posts 27 Posters 267.1k Views
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  • Andrea BA Offline
    Andrea BA Offline
    Andrea B
    wrote on last edited by
    #1068

    The Mexican Maid asked for a pay rise. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want more pay?”

    Maria: “Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increase. The first eez that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”

    Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.” Wife: “Oh yeah?” Maria: “The second reason eez that I am better cook than you.”

    Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?” Maria: “Jor hozban deed.”

    Wife increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?” Maria: “The third reason is that I a’m a better at make love than you in the bed.”

    Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, “And did my husband say that as well?”

    Maria: “No Senora, the gardener.

    I love you long time.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #1069

      Hahahajahaha

      Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #1070

        Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the 28th time.

        Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote last edited by
          #1071

          40 years ago today, l asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend and the most gorgeous woman l know to marry me.

          All three said no.

          Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote last edited by
            #1072

            So there’s this common misconception that autistic people take everything literally.

            I’m autistic, so I can tell you… that’s just not true.

            The people who actually take things literally are kleptomaniacs.

            I just have autism.

            Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote last edited by
              #1073

              I only believe in 12.5% of gods.

              I’m an eighthiest.

              Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

              1 Reply Last reply
              • A Offline
                A Offline
                AndyD
                wrote last edited by AndyD
                #1074

                https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18ygBZeJyd/
                'Wine in a Can'
                A short poem that gets increasingly funny (not that you'd recite it at a Christmas party😄)

                Doctor PhibesD 1 Reply Last reply
                😊
                • A AndyD

                  https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18ygBZeJyd/
                  'Wine in a Can'
                  A short poem that gets increasingly funny (not that you'd recite it at a Christmas party😄)

                  Doctor PhibesD Offline
                  Doctor PhibesD Offline
                  Doctor Phibes
                  wrote last edited by
                  #1075

                  @AndyD said:

                  https://www.facebook.com/share/v/18ygBZeJyd/
                  'Wine in a Can'
                  A short poem that gets increasingly funny (not that you'd recite it at a Christmas party😄)

                  That's brilliant.

                  I was only joking

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • MikM Offline
                    MikM Offline
                    Mik
                    wrote last edited by
                    #1076

                    It is, and I feel the same way.

                    "You cannot subsidize irresponsibility and expect people to become more responsible." — Thomas Sowell

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote last edited by
                      #1077

                      Why do women have two sets of lips?

                      One for arguing, one for apologizing.

                      Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote last edited by
                        #1078

                        For the first time yesterday I went for a run with my Apple watch.

                        It asked me if my life was in danger or if tacos were on sale for $1 again.

                        Lo, no accord shall bloom 'twixt us and that realm, save they do kneel in token of their utter, soul-deep shame! No parley shall we hold, no treaty sign, until their will is broken, and their strength doth lie as dust before our might. -DJT, 3/6/26

                        1 Reply Last reply

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