So....
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Why is it a good thing when a woman goes through a box of tissues watching a movie, and gross when a guy goes through a box of tissues watching a movie?
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Karla just told me she wants another dog. In the past year, that’s 2 cats and 1 dog… I think she might be going through Many Paws.
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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”
The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?”
The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat
. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano 
.
The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and starts playing the blues like a rodent Ray Charles.
Stunned, the bartender pours him a free drink
.
After finishing it, the guy says, “Now, if I show you an even better trick, do I drink free all night?”
“Buddy, if you can top that, you’re drinking on me till closing,” the bartender replies.
The man pulls the rat and piano out again, and this time reaches into his coat and pulls out… a small bullfrog
.
The frog clears his throat and starts belting out soulful blues lyrics. The rat’s playing, the frog’s singing — the bar is dead silent in awe.
Suddenly, a man rushes up and says, “I’ll give you $10,000 for that frog!”
The guy says, “Nope, not for sale.”
“$25,000!”
“Nope.”
“$50,000! Cash!”
“Deal.”
The bartender’s jaw drops. “Are you CRAZY? That frog was a gold mine! Why’d you sell him?”
The man smirks and says, “Relax. The frog can’t sing... the rat’s a ventriloquist.”
