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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 106.0k Views
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  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #1008

    Me: It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get back up.

    Cop: Sir, that’s not how field sobriety tests work.

    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

      If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

      KlausK Offline
      KlausK Offline
      Klaus
      wrote on last edited by
      #1009

      @jon-nyc said in So....:

      If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

      Good one!

      1 Reply Last reply
      • taiwan_girlT Offline
        taiwan_girlT Offline
        taiwan_girl
        wrote on last edited by
        #1010

        So,

        An old relative of mine told people at least three times that the Titanic was going to sink on its first voyage.
        Then, security came and took him from the movie theater.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #1011

          My friend has a bad stutter and by the time he told us his Nana had died, we were all singing Hey Jude.

          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins Dad
            wrote on last edited by
            #1012

            Why is it a good thing when a woman goes through a box of tissues watching a movie, and gross when a guy goes through a box of tissues watching a movie?

            The Brad

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #1013

              Lol

              Thank you for your attention to this matter.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #1014

                To teach my kids about Democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza.

                Then I ordered sushi because we don't live in a swing state, so their votes don't matter.

                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #1015

                  I’m terrified about today’s science news. Genetically modifying crabs to have cheetah genes? This could go sideways fast.

                  Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #1016

                    When I was young I thought rich people owned Bose systems and the rest of us owned Sony products.

                    Turns out those were just stereotypes.

                    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • LuFins DadL Offline
                      LuFins DadL Offline
                      LuFins Dad
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #1017

                      Karla just told me she wants another dog. In the past year, that’s 2 cats and 1 dog… I think she might be going through Many Paws.

                      The Brad

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #1018

                        Bro: Worst she could do is say no.

                        Her: Ewww.

                        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #1019

                          If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner you’re a terrible parent.

                          I don’t care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them.

                          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #1020

                            I did my first nude painting yesterday.

                            The neighbors weren't happy but my front door looks great.

                            Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #1021

                              I finally perfected the art of turning yarn into alcohol.

                              I knit you shot.

                              Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote last edited by
                                #1022

                                To everyone who wrote ‘stay cool’ in my high school yearbook, I have some devastating news…

                                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nycJ Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #1023

                                  I couldn’t afford an ancestry DNA kit.

                                  So I started a rumor that I won the lottery and found all my relatives in record time.

                                  Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #1024

                                    You might not be the dumbest person in the world….

                                    But you better hope he doesn’t die.

                                    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #1025

                                      What if there were no hypothetical questions?

                                      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #1026

                                        People’s IQ should be presented like the weather.

                                        Actual IQ: 105
                                        Feels like: 82

                                        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #1027

                                          I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink.

                                          I’m at urgent care waiting to be seen.

                                          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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