Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse

The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 102.3k Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #1001

    I’ve gotten quite good at ventriloquism recently.

    Scared the shit out of my urologist the other day.

    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • MikM Offline
      MikM Offline
      Mik
      wrote on last edited by
      #1002

      The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

      The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

      The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

      Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

      The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
      "What is your SECOND request?"

      The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

      As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

      Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
      She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

      The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
      "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

      The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

      The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

      Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
      "Listen Very Carefully!!!
      "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
      "BRING POSSE"

      "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

      LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #1003

        Everyone told Sam not to sing.

        But Samsung anyway.

        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • MikM Mik

          The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

          The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

          The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

          Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

          The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
          "What is your SECOND request?"

          The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

          As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

          Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
          She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

          The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
          "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

          The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

          The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

          Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
          "Listen Very Carefully!!!
          "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
          "BRING POSSE"

          LuFins DadL Offline
          LuFins DadL Offline
          LuFins Dad
          wrote on last edited by
          #1004

          @Mik said in So....:

          The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

          The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

          The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

          Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

          The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
          "What is your SECOND request?"

          The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

          As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

          Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
          She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

          The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
          "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

          The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

          The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

          Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
          "Listen Very Carefully!!!
          "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
          "BRING POSSE"

          The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode into town after a long and hot ride across the desert. The horses were overheated, so Kemosabe told Tonto to run around the horses to generate a breeze while he went into the tavern to get them all something to drink.

          The masked lawman was waiting at the bar for two beers and two buckets of water when a guy came into the bar and yelled “Hey! Is that your white horse out there?” The Lone Ranger replied “Sure is, is there a problem?” The guy responded “No, but you left your Injun running”

          The Brad

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #1005

            It’s been a pretty weird day today. First I found a hat full of money. Then I got chased by an angry man with a guitar.

            Thank you for your attention to this matter.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #1006

              A journey of a thousand miles begins with an argument on the way to the airport.

              Thank you for your attention to this matter.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #1007

                If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                KlausK 1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote last edited by
                  #1008

                  Me: It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get back up.

                  Cop: Sir, that’s not how field sobriety tests work.

                  Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                    If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                    KlausK Online
                    KlausK Online
                    Klaus
                    wrote last edited by
                    #1009

                    @jon-nyc said in So....:

                    If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                    Good one!

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • taiwan_girlT Offline
                      taiwan_girlT Offline
                      taiwan_girl
                      wrote last edited by
                      #1010

                      So,

                      An old relative of mine told people at least three times that the Titanic was going to sink on its first voyage.
                      Then, security came and took him from the movie theater.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote last edited by
                        #1011

                        My friend has a bad stutter and by the time he told us his Nana had died, we were all singing Hey Jude.

                        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • LuFins DadL Offline
                          LuFins DadL Offline
                          LuFins Dad
                          wrote last edited by
                          #1012

                          Why is it a good thing when a woman goes through a box of tissues watching a movie, and gross when a guy goes through a box of tissues watching a movie?

                          The Brad

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nycJ Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote last edited by
                            #1013

                            Lol

                            Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote last edited by
                              #1014

                              To teach my kids about Democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza.

                              Then I ordered sushi because we don't live in a swing state, so their votes don't matter.

                              Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote last edited by
                                #1015

                                I’m terrified about today’s science news. Genetically modifying crabs to have cheetah genes? This could go sideways fast.

                                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #1016

                                  When I was young I thought rich people owned Bose systems and the rest of us owned Sony products.

                                  Turns out those were just stereotypes.

                                  Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • LuFins DadL Offline
                                    LuFins DadL Offline
                                    LuFins Dad
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #1017

                                    Karla just told me she wants another dog. In the past year, that’s 2 cats and 1 dog… I think she might be going through Many Paws.

                                    The Brad

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #1018

                                      Bro: Worst she could do is say no.

                                      Her: Ewww.

                                      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #1019

                                        If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner you’re a terrible parent.

                                        I don’t care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them.

                                        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #1020

                                          I did my first nude painting yesterday.

                                          The neighbors weren't happy but my front door looks great.

                                          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups