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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

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  • MikM Away
    MikM Away
    Mik
    wrote on last edited by
    #1002

    The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

    The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

    The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

    Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

    The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
    "What is your SECOND request?"

    The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

    As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

    Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
    She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

    The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
    "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

    The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

    The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

    Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
    "Listen Very Carefully!!!
    "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
    "BRING POSSE"

    “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

    LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #1003

      Everyone told Sam not to sing.

      But Samsung anyway.

      "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
      -Cormac McCarthy

      1 Reply Last reply
      • MikM Mik

        The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

        The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

        The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

        Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

        The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
        "What is your SECOND request?"

        The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

        As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

        Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
        She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

        The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
        "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

        The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

        The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

        Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
        "Listen Very Carefully!!!
        "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
        "BRING POSSE"

        LuFins DadL Offline
        LuFins DadL Offline
        LuFins Dad
        wrote on last edited by
        #1004

        @Mik said in So....:

        The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

        The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

        The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

        Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

        The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
        "What is your SECOND request?"

        The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

        As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

        Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
        She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

        The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
        "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

        The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

        The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

        Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
        "Listen Very Carefully!!!
        "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
        "BRING POSSE"

        The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode into town after a long and hot ride across the desert. The horses were overheated, so Kemosabe told Tonto to run around the horses to generate a breeze while he went into the tavern to get them all something to drink.

        The masked lawman was waiting at the bar for two beers and two buckets of water when a guy came into the bar and yelled “Hey! Is that your white horse out there?” The Lone Ranger replied “Sure is, is there a problem?” The guy responded “No, but you left your Injun running”

        The Brad

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote last edited by
          #1005

          It’s been a pretty weird day today. First I found a hat full of money. Then I got chased by an angry man with a guitar.

          "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
          -Cormac McCarthy

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote last edited by
            #1006

            A journey of a thousand miles begins with an argument on the way to the airport.

            "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
            -Cormac McCarthy

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nycJ Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote last edited by
              #1007

              If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

              "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
              -Cormac McCarthy

              KlausK 1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote last edited by
                #1008

                Me: It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get back up.

                Cop: Sir, that’s not how field sobriety tests work.

                "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                -Cormac McCarthy

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                  If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                  KlausK Offline
                  KlausK Offline
                  Klaus
                  wrote last edited by
                  #1009

                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                  If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                  Good one!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • taiwan_girlT Offline
                    taiwan_girlT Offline
                    taiwan_girl
                    wrote last edited by
                    #1010

                    So,

                    An old relative of mine told people at least three times that the Titanic was going to sink on its first voyage.
                    Then, security came and took him from the movie theater.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote last edited by
                      #1011

                      My friend has a bad stutter and by the time he told us his Nana had died, we were all singing Hey Jude.

                      "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                      -Cormac McCarthy

                      1 Reply Last reply
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