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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

    I often wonder who Pete is and why we do things for his sake.

    LuFins DadL Offline
    LuFins DadL Offline
    LuFins Dad
    wrote on last edited by
    #997

    @jon-nyc said in So....:

    I often wonder who Pete is and why we do things for his sake.

    I always wonder what Will did to make the the Army always fire at him.

    The Brad

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #998

      The only time I ever get asked for sex is on medical forms.

      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #999

        Of all the things that taste like chicken, it’s weird that eggs aren’t one of them.

        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

        taiwan_girlT 1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

          Of all the things that taste like chicken, it’s weird that eggs aren’t one of them.

          taiwan_girlT Offline
          taiwan_girlT Offline
          taiwan_girl
          wrote on last edited by
          #1000

          @jon-nyc 😆 😆

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #1001

            I’ve gotten quite good at ventriloquism recently.

            Scared the shit out of my urologist the other day.

            Thank you for your attention to this matter.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • MikM Offline
              MikM Offline
              Mik
              wrote on last edited by
              #1002

              The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

              The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

              The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

              Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

              The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
              "What is your SECOND request?"

              The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

              As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

              Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
              She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

              The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
              "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

              The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

              The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

              Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
              "Listen Very Carefully!!!
              "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
              "BRING POSSE"

              "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

              LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #1003

                Everyone told Sam not to sing.

                But Samsung anyway.

                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • MikM Mik

                  The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

                  The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

                  The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

                  Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

                  The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
                  "What is your SECOND request?"

                  The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

                  As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

                  Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
                  She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

                  The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
                  "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

                  The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

                  The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

                  Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
                  "Listen Very Carefully!!!
                  "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
                  "BRING POSSE"

                  LuFins DadL Offline
                  LuFins DadL Offline
                  LuFins Dad
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #1004

                  @Mik said in So....:

                  The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'

                  The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

                  The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.

                  Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

                  The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
                  "What is your SECOND request?"

                  The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

                  As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

                  Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
                  She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.

                  The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
                  "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"

                  The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."

                  The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

                  Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
                  "Listen Very Carefully!!!
                  "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
                  "BRING POSSE"

                  The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode into town after a long and hot ride across the desert. The horses were overheated, so Kemosabe told Tonto to run around the horses to generate a breeze while he went into the tavern to get them all something to drink.

                  The masked lawman was waiting at the bar for two beers and two buckets of water when a guy came into the bar and yelled “Hey! Is that your white horse out there?” The Lone Ranger replied “Sure is, is there a problem?” The guy responded “No, but you left your Injun running”

                  The Brad

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #1005

                    It’s been a pretty weird day today. First I found a hat full of money. Then I got chased by an angry man with a guitar.

                    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #1006

                      A journey of a thousand miles begins with an argument on the way to the airport.

                      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #1007

                        If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                        KlausK 1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote last edited by
                          #1008

                          Me: It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get back up.

                          Cop: Sir, that’s not how field sobriety tests work.

                          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                            If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                            KlausK Offline
                            KlausK Offline
                            Klaus
                            wrote last edited by
                            #1009

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            If I refuse to do cardio, does that count as resistance training?

                            Good one!

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • taiwan_girlT Offline
                              taiwan_girlT Offline
                              taiwan_girl
                              wrote last edited by
                              #1010

                              So,

                              An old relative of mine told people at least three times that the Titanic was going to sink on its first voyage.
                              Then, security came and took him from the movie theater.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote last edited by
                                #1011

                                My friend has a bad stutter and by the time he told us his Nana had died, we were all singing Hey Jude.

                                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • LuFins DadL Offline
                                  LuFins DadL Offline
                                  LuFins Dad
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #1012

                                  Why is it a good thing when a woman goes through a box of tissues watching a movie, and gross when a guy goes through a box of tissues watching a movie?

                                  The Brad

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #1013

                                    Lol

                                    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #1014

                                      To teach my kids about Democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza.

                                      Then I ordered sushi because we don't live in a swing state, so their votes don't matter.

                                      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #1015

                                        I’m terrified about today’s science news. Genetically modifying crabs to have cheetah genes? This could go sideways fast.

                                        Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #1016

                                          When I was young I thought rich people owned Bose systems and the rest of us owned Sony products.

                                          Turns out those were just stereotypes.

                                          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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