Goodbye, Mom
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 09:57 last edited by
I’m sorry Klaus.
When I lost my mother Jack Frost said to me “When your mother dies it’s like the universe changes. You adjust but you never really get used to it.”
There’s a lot of truth to that.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 10:10 last edited by brenda
I'm so sorry about your mom, Klaus. She sounds like a very resilient woman for retaining her joy for life despite her hardships. I can see why you'll miss her very much. There's no way to make this easier for you, but I sure wish I could.
BTW, it's healthy for you and your kids to share in grieving. It shows how much she meant to all of you, which is a tribute to her in a way. Sometimes parents think it will be harder on their kids if they cry in front of them, but it's not true. It lets them know you loved her, too. They'll appreciate that always. It shows them how important family is. Blessings to you and your family.
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She passed away tonight, after a very short battle with pancreatic cancer. It took less than two months from the first complaints about the symptoms to death. Surgery was tried, but abandoned when they found out that the metastasis situation was hopeless.
Her last years were hard on her. Within the last five years, she lost two sisters and her husband (all to cancer), her last sister became demented, she lost her kidney function and had to cope with the "joys" of dialysis.
She was born and raised in rural post-war Germany in a relatively poor family - her father was a tailor who lost his job when factory production of clothes became common. She and her husband profited a lot from the "Wirtschaftswunder" of the 1960s and 70s. My father started a real estate business which turned out to be successful. She raised four kids, loved to cook, loved gardening - and partying. During the summer and fall, we ate fresh vegetables from her garden almost every day. In the late 90s and early 00s, after her kids all moved out, she and her husband traveled all over the world. In her last decade, she was an enthusiastic bridge player, got a dog, and kept in shape with Nordic Walking.
Damn, this sucks. I wish I were a twelve year old boy again and she'd call me for lunch.
wrote on 19 May 2021, 11:14 last edited byI’m sorry for the loss of your mom, Klaus.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 11:16 last edited by
Whether it's a surprise or we know what's coming, the death of a parent is tough. The person that was always there, isn't.
Condolences to you and your family. May the Good Lord grant you and your family comfort in your time of grief.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 11:29 last edited by
Rest in peace, Mom.
A urologist friend of mine had his last-surviving parent pass away several years ago. He commented to me, "You're not an adult until you lose both parents. I mean, whom am I going to ask for advice, now?"
Be joyful in the fact that her life was rich, and the fact that she really seemed to enjoy her later years, despite the rough patches of losing spouse and other family.
I'm so sorry to read this.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 11:30 last edited by
I'm very sorry, Klaus.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 11:35 last edited by
Damn, sorry to hear that Klaus
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Whether it's a surprise or we know what's coming, the death of a parent is tough. The person that was always there, isn't.
Condolences to you and your family. May the Good Lord grant you and your family comfort in your time of grief.
wrote on 19 May 2021, 12:35 last edited by@jolly said in Goodbye, Mom:
The person that was always there, isn't.
This.
Sorry for your and your family's loss, Klaus. You made a wonderful tribute.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 12:50 last edited by
It sounds like she had a wonderful life until the last few years. May those memories bring you comfort.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 13:49 last edited by
Thanks, everyone. This hit me harder than I thought it would.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 13:57 last edited by
@klaus said in Goodbye, Mom:
This hit me harder than I thought it would.
I understand this. My mother was a surprise, she got cancer and died in months at a young age (67). In my father's case, it was very much expected as he had been visibly declining for years, and he was in his 80s. SO I thought his death would be 'easier'. But it wasn't. Something about being an orphan really hits you.
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@klaus said in Goodbye, Mom:
This hit me harder than I thought it would.
I understand this. My mother was a surprise, she got cancer and died in months at a young age (67). In my father's case, it was very much expected as he had been visibly declining for years, and he was in his 80s. SO I thought his death would be 'easier'. But it wasn't. Something about being an orphan really hits you.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 14:01 last edited by
Yes it does. I lost my mother in 1984 after a horrible lingering illness. It was expected and should have happened before it did. My father was sudden and a shock, but his health was pretty bad too. I lost them both to smoking.
It's an odd feeling to be parentless, and it makes me worry about my daughter as an only child. There isn't anything I can do about it but it's still a painful thought. It feels like I will be letting her down.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 14:04 last edited by
I found losing my second parent much more difficult to deal with than the first - you need to give yourself time to come to terms with it. It felt much more like the end of something, to me at least.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 14:06 last edited by Klaus
I think the problem is that it is not only a human that dies. It's the death of a notion of "home", of a "safe place" full of memories. It is also a challenge for the future relation to siblings.
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I think the problem is that it is not only a human that dies. It's the death of a notion of "home", of a "safe place" full of memories. It is also a challenge for the future relation to siblings.
wrote on 19 May 2021, 14:14 last edited by@klaus said in Goodbye, Mom:
I think the problem is that it is not only a human that dies. It's the death of a notion of "home", of a "safe place" full of memories. It is also a challenge for the future relation to siblings.
Since my mum died last May, I've been having regular video calls with my brother and his wife, which we never did before - every two weeks or so. I've found it very helpful. The Covid situation hasn't helped, obviously, since we can't visit, which I normally do 2-3 times a year.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 14:22 last edited by
I'm sorry to hear this Klaus.
May she rest in peace.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 14:37 last edited by
I'm really sorry, Klaus.
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wrote on 19 May 2021, 14:55 last edited by
I’m sorry for your loss Klaus.