RIP, Dad
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 19:22 last edited by
I flew into Missouri Saturday the 6th expecting to be able to spend some quality time with my Mom and Dad, a few days before the other two siblings and their families were coming in, for a large family get-together. My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a year ago, so everybody knew the clock was ticking. He chose to do a surgery because his oncologist dangled the words "possibly curative", and my dad really wanted to watch more of his grandkids lives. The surgeon disagreed and told him the surgery would not extend his life expectancy regardless. But he had the surgery last September, a very risky and painful one. He squeeked through it, but then in January 2021 they scanned him again and the cancer was in his liver, so it was just a matter of time. When I got there on the 6th, he had deteriorated drastically over just the recent few days. He'd gone from walking around, alert and relatively chatty, to being unable to stand or easily process or pronounce words. I'm still not sure why the cognition declined so much. Maybe it's a natural part of the dying process as the whole body shuts down, or the other theory my family has is that the cancer had spread to his brain. I don't know how it could have grown so fast, just a week or so, if that was the reason. Hospice got him a hospital bed for the living room on Sunday the 7th, and mom and I were giving him water through a syringe because he could no longer drink out of cups. He would fall asleep between sips. On Sunday night it was clear he would probably not make it to Wednesday to see the rest of the kids, so I called my siblings to get there as soon as they could. They all got there Monday night, but my dad had by that time fallen asleep for the last time. My sister was there for his last breath but my brother arrived a little later. They wheeled him out that night, feet first, as he had sometimes expressed was his wish. To die at home.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 19:23 last edited by Horace
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 19:26 last edited by
My condolences. I'm glad you still managed to see him alive.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 19:40 last edited by
I'm sorry to hear this, my condolences.
He had a good life.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 19:51 last edited by
What a beautiful obit. Yes, he had quite a life, and he knew what was important. Codolences to you and all your family, Horace.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 19:53 last edited by
Condolences, Horace.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 20:00 last edited by Catseye3
My condolences also, Horace.
Someone wrote a long time ago that we are not truly adult until our parents are no longer with us. That makes such a loss doubly difficult.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 20:09 last edited by
https://obituaries.joplinglobe.com/obituary/dan-houser-1081777219
So sad that he's passed on, Horace.
Sending you, and all your family, a virtual hug.
And yeah, what Brenda said - a wonderful obituary that gives you a sense of the man.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 20:15 last edited by
My condolences, @Horace.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 20:21 last edited by
Sorry for your loss, pancreatic cancer is a heavy burden to bear, for the patient and his loved ones.
May you have no further sadness in the future.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 20:23 last edited by Doctor Phibes
I'm very sorry to hear this, Horace. My condolences.
As others have said, that's a very nice obituary - a life well lived.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 20:29 last edited by
Sorry to hear, Horace. Beautiful obituary.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 21:01 last edited by
Sorry to hear about your dad, Horace.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 21:09 last edited by
I’m sorry Horace. That was a great obituary. Like my father he was born at home and died at home. I too did the dropper thing with my folks. Morphine as well as water.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 21:25 last edited by Jolly
In Hebrews, it is written that is appointed unto men once to die. It is inescapable, but a life well-lived may be the best revenge a mere mortal has against Death.
Your Dad had a well-lived life. From the woman he loved, to the children he fathered and raised, the sights and sounds he experienced the world over and even his death, surrounded by a loving family in his own home, is the definition of a life many wish they had.
Requiescat in pace. May God grant your family comfort in this time of sorrow.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 21:29 last edited by
I'm glad you got there in time that he knew you were with him. That may not seem like a lot now but it will comfort you in years to come.
He led a remarkable life, and certainly brought up a remarkable son.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 21:31 last edited by
I'm really sorry to hear that, Horace. That was indeed a wonderful obituary.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 21:37 last edited by
Thank you everybody for your kind words.
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What a beautiful obit. Yes, he had quite a life, and he knew what was important. Codolences to you and all your family, Horace.
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wrote on 15 Mar 2021, 22:00 last edited by
We would all be so lucky to live half of that obituary. Sorry, man.