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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. RIP, Dad

RIP, Dad

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • HoraceH Offline
    HoraceH Offline
    Horace
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    I flew into Missouri Saturday the 6th expecting to be able to spend some quality time with my Mom and Dad, a few days before the other two siblings and their families were coming in, for a large family get-together. My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a year ago, so everybody knew the clock was ticking. He chose to do a surgery because his oncologist dangled the words "possibly curative", and my dad really wanted to watch more of his grandkids lives. The surgeon disagreed and told him the surgery would not extend his life expectancy regardless. But he had the surgery last September, a very risky and painful one. He squeeked through it, but then in January 2021 they scanned him again and the cancer was in his liver, so it was just a matter of time. When I got there on the 6th, he had deteriorated drastically over just the recent few days. He'd gone from walking around, alert and relatively chatty, to being unable to stand or easily process or pronounce words. I'm still not sure why the cognition declined so much. Maybe it's a natural part of the dying process as the whole body shuts down, or the other theory my family has is that the cancer had spread to his brain. I don't know how it could have grown so fast, just a week or so, if that was the reason. Hospice got him a hospital bed for the living room on Sunday the 7th, and mom and I were giving him water through a syringe because he could no longer drink out of cups. He would fall asleep between sips. On Sunday night it was clear he would probably not make it to Wednesday to see the rest of the kids, so I called my siblings to get there as soon as they could. They all got there Monday night, but my dad had by that time fallen asleep for the last time. My sister was there for his last breath but my brother arrived a little later. They wheeled him out that night, feet first, as he had sometimes expressed was his wish. To die at home.

    Education is extremely important.

    IvorythumperI 1 Reply Last reply
    • HoraceH Offline
      HoraceH Offline
      Horace
      wrote on last edited by Horace
      #2

      deleted

      Education is extremely important.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • KlausK Offline
        KlausK Offline
        Klaus
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        My condolences. I'm glad you still managed to see him alive.

        CopperC 1 Reply Last reply
        • KlausK Klaus

          My condolences. I'm glad you still managed to see him alive.

          CopperC Offline
          CopperC Offline
          Copper
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          I'm sorry to hear this, my condolences.

          He had a good life.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • brendaB Offline
            brendaB Offline
            brenda
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            What a beautiful obit. Yes, he had quite a life, and he knew what was important. Codolences to you and all your family, Horace.

            L 1 Reply Last reply
            • markM Offline
              markM Offline
              mark
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Condolences, Horace. 😞

              1 Reply Last reply
              • Catseye3C Offline
                Catseye3C Offline
                Catseye3
                wrote on last edited by Catseye3
                #7

                My condolences also, Horace.

                Someone wrote a long time ago that we are not truly adult until our parents are no longer with us. That makes such a loss doubly difficult.

                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                1 Reply Last reply
                • George KG Offline
                  George KG Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  @horace said in RIP, Dad:

                  https://obituaries.joplinglobe.com/obituary/dan-houser-1081777219

                  So sad that he's passed on, Horace.

                  Sending you, and all your family, a virtual hug.

                  And yeah, what Brenda said - a wonderful obituary that gives you a sense of the man.

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • AxtremusA Away
                    AxtremusA Away
                    Axtremus
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    My condolences, @Horace.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • bachophileB Offline
                      bachophileB Offline
                      bachophile
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Sorry for your loss, pancreatic cancer is a heavy burden to bear, for the patient and his loved ones.

                      May you have no further sadness in the future.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                        Doctor Phibes
                        wrote on last edited by Doctor Phibes
                        #11

                        I'm very sorry to hear this, Horace. My condolences.

                        As others have said, that's a very nice obituary - a life well lived.

                        I was only joking

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • X Offline
                          X Offline
                          xenon
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Sorry to hear, Horace. Beautiful obituary.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • RichR Offline
                            RichR Offline
                            Rich
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Sorry to hear about your dad, Horace.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              I’m sorry Horace. That was a great obituary. Like my father he was born at home and died at home. I too did the dropper thing with my folks. Morphine as well as water.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • JollyJ Offline
                                JollyJ Offline
                                Jolly
                                wrote on last edited by Jolly
                                #15

                                In Hebrews, it is written that is appointed unto men once to die. It is inescapable, but a life well-lived may be the best revenge a mere mortal has against Death.

                                Your Dad had a well-lived life. From the woman he loved, to the children he fathered and raised, the sights and sounds he experienced the world over and even his death, surrounded by a loving family in his own home, is the definition of a life many wish they had.

                                Requiescat in pace. May God grant your family comfort in this time of sorrow.

                                “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • MikM Away
                                  MikM Away
                                  Mik
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  I'm glad you got there in time that he knew you were with him. That may not seem like a lot now but it will comfort you in years to come.

                                  He led a remarkable life, and certainly brought up a remarkable son.

                                  “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                    Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                    Aqua Letifer
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    I'm really sorry to hear that, Horace. That was indeed a wonderful obituary.

                                    Please love yourself.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • HoraceH Offline
                                      HoraceH Offline
                                      Horace
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Thank you everybody for your kind words.

                                      Education is extremely important.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • brendaB brenda

                                        What a beautiful obit. Yes, he had quite a life, and he knew what was important. Codolences to you and all your family, Horace.

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Loki
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        @brenda said in RIP, Dad:

                                        What a beautiful obit. Yes, he had quite a life, and he knew what was important. Codolences to you and all your family, Horace.

                                        My sentiments exactly.

                                        Thank you for sharing Horace.

                                        Peace.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • 89th8 Online
                                          89th8 Online
                                          89th
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          We would all be so lucky to live half of that obituary. Sorry, man.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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