Blame goes both ways.
Many young people today want the experience to come to them, rather than being a part of the experience. They wish to hear 7/11 songs, comfortably ensconced in a darkened theater-like atmosphere and enjoy the light show.
While you're absolutely right churches and leaders must change with the times, they should only change so much.
Now, sit down, because I don't want you falling and hurting yourself...I was at mass last week. It was grandparent's day at my granddaughter's parochial school. Standing room only.
Now, I've been there before and it wasn't that full, but the church there does a pretty nice job of mixing things up so all ages feel comfortable. Middle-class church, with a priest old enough to have a little wisdom, but young enough to do a good job working his church field, which is mostly white and blue collar middle class folks. Thought his sermon the other day was pretty good, all things considered.
But...Catholics still can't sing.