Mike, I'm so sorry you went through trauma earlier in your life. You're correct that some victims don't really understand what happened, and have a distorted perspective about their experiences. Sometimes getting into adulthood helps the victim understand, but some still can't even as adults.
If it's something that the person grew up experiencing in the home, especially if it was the parent causing the abuse, the child thinks it's normal or deserved. It's amazingly difficult to mentally and emotionally break free from a mess like that. Some people never do. I'm glad you're one who has moved forward from it.
What kind of relationship do you have now with the person who abused you? Has your abuser made amends in any way, or are they still abusive, or is there some other outcome?