So....
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wrote on 13 Aug 2020, 03:04 last edited by
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wrote on 13 Aug 2020, 03:35 last edited by
I caught my son chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him.
He’s doing better currently. And conducting himself properly.
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wrote on 13 Aug 2020, 04:34 last edited by
My neighbor's wife has a whale tattoo on her ass. It used to be a porpoise.
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wrote on 14 Aug 2020, 22:00 last edited by
I guess we all have personal hang ups about our appearance.
Personally my worry is that one of my balls is bigger than the other two.
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wrote on 15 Aug 2020, 00:04 last edited by
I was so disappointed when I heard they won't be making yardsticks any longer....
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 15:33 last edited by
Doctor: "How many fingers now?"
Me: "this just isn't how I envisioned a prostate exam worked..."
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 15:36 last edited by
They said schizophrenia is an illness And I should take medication.
But look who's over here and not lonely during the covid19 lockdown!.....
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 15:41 last edited by
A guy walks up to a pretty girl standing next to the jukebox. "Wow - great thong!"
She slaps him in the face and walks off.
The guy says.... "Thorry... wath it thomething i thaid?"....
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 15:59 last edited by
Scientists have discovered a way to milk sheep.
Just release a new iPhone every year.
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 16:00 last edited by
Did Charles Darwin die of natural causes?
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 16:06 last edited by
Joe Biden was all excited. His test came back negative.
Not even Kamala Harris has the heart to tell him he had taken an IQ test.
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 20:02 last edited by
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wrote on 22 Aug 2020, 09:34 last edited by
My wife says I have two faults.
I don’t listen and something else.
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wrote on 22 Aug 2020, 13:53 last edited by
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
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wrote on 22 Aug 2020, 17:41 last edited by
I don't get it.... every w/o an likes to be swept off her feet...
But the minute you try to stuff her in the trunk.......
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wrote on 22 Aug 2020, 17:49 last edited by
Are people in Wal-Mart called Walmartians?
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wrote on 24 Aug 2020, 21:55 last edited by
Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes
Me: I wish for a world without lawyers
Genie: Done, you have no more wishes
Me: But you said 3
Genie: Sue me.
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wrote on 27 Aug 2020, 16:20 last edited by jon-nyc
Life lesson #843.
"Analogy" is NOT the study of buttholes.
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wrote on 2 Sept 2020, 16:05 last edited by
So.. my wife yelled down from upstairs and asked "do you ever get shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?
I said "Nope."
She said "......How about now?........"