So....
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wrote on 7 Aug 2020, 02:05 last edited by
My best friend passed away years ago.
Grieving before his grave I said,
“Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?
A month later, my wife gave birth to a baby boy. As my child grows older I realize he looks a lot like my best friend.
I’m really happy my prayer worked.
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wrote on 7 Aug 2020, 02:08 last edited by
Two dogs are talking. One says "I can't remember your name but your fece's familiar...."
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wrote on 7 Aug 2020, 02:10 last edited by
So i said "Doc, you got anything i could take for my kleptomania?"....
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wrote on 7 Aug 2020, 02:17 last edited by
Welcome to the National Sarcasm Society.
Like we need your support....
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wrote on 11 Aug 2020, 21:42 last edited by
If I make a woman breakfast in bed, a simple ‘thank you’ is enough.
None of this ‘how did you get in my house’ business, please.
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wrote on 13 Aug 2020, 00:36 last edited by
Apparently, that random guy in the parking lot was just tying his shoe and didn't actually want to play leap frog. My bad dude, my bad.
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wrote on 13 Aug 2020, 03:04 last edited by
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wrote on 13 Aug 2020, 03:35 last edited by
I caught my son chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him.
He’s doing better currently. And conducting himself properly.
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wrote on 13 Aug 2020, 04:34 last edited by
My neighbor's wife has a whale tattoo on her ass. It used to be a porpoise.
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wrote on 14 Aug 2020, 22:00 last edited by
I guess we all have personal hang ups about our appearance.
Personally my worry is that one of my balls is bigger than the other two.
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wrote on 15 Aug 2020, 00:04 last edited by
I was so disappointed when I heard they won't be making yardsticks any longer....
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 15:33 last edited by
Doctor: "How many fingers now?"
Me: "this just isn't how I envisioned a prostate exam worked..."
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 15:36 last edited by
They said schizophrenia is an illness And I should take medication.
But look who's over here and not lonely during the covid19 lockdown!.....
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 15:41 last edited by
A guy walks up to a pretty girl standing next to the jukebox. "Wow - great thong!"
She slaps him in the face and walks off.
The guy says.... "Thorry... wath it thomething i thaid?"....
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 15:59 last edited by
Scientists have discovered a way to milk sheep.
Just release a new iPhone every year.
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 16:00 last edited by
Did Charles Darwin die of natural causes?
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 16:06 last edited by
Joe Biden was all excited. His test came back negative.
Not even Kamala Harris has the heart to tell him he had taken an IQ test.
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wrote on 18 Aug 2020, 20:02 last edited by
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wrote on 22 Aug 2020, 09:34 last edited by
My wife says I have two faults.
I don’t listen and something else.