So....
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The guy that coined the term “one hit wonder” never came up with another catchy phrase.
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My friend had strobe lights installed in his bedroom. He says the sex is the same, but his wife looks like she’s moving.
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I heard this cool music coming from my printer last night.
Apparently my paper was jamming.
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My wife and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
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So…. 50% of Roger Federer’s name is “er”.
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I’ve never been very good at geography. But I can name one city in France, which is nice.
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How many Mexicans does it take to..
HOLY SHIT THEY’RE ALREADY DONE
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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!
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A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.
Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”
“Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”
“But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”
“Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”
Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”
“True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”
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A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.
Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”
“Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”
“But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”
“Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”
Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”
“True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”
And was the Jews who thought it was a good idea to mangle the pecker and remove the nerve ending which make it pleasurable….