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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 85.6k Views
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  • LarryL Offline
    LarryL Offline
    Larry
    wrote on last edited by
    #676

    Lol....

    Dr. "Mr. Smith, you're going to have to stop masturbating.."

    Mr. Smith : "Why?"

    Dr. : "Because I'm trying to clean your teeth,......."

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #677

      Scientists announced that dolphins are second to man in intelligence.

      I guess that pushes women down to third place.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #678

        The guy that coined the term “one hit wonder” never came up with another catchy phrase.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #679

          My friend had strobe lights installed in his bedroom. He says the sex is the same, but his wife looks like she’s moving.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • X Offline
            X Offline
            xenon
            wrote on last edited by
            #680

            What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

            The taste.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • X Offline
              X Offline
              xenon
              wrote on last edited by
              #681

              I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people...

              ...but none of them work.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • X Offline
                X Offline
                xenon
                wrote on last edited by
                #682

                So this guy with premature ejaculation comes outta nowhere...

                1 Reply Last reply
                • Catseye3C Offline
                  Catseye3C Offline
                  Catseye3
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #683

                  Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund.

                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #684

                    I heard this cool music coming from my printer last night.

                    Apparently my paper was jamming.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • George KG Offline
                      George KG Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #685

                      My wife and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

                      Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

                      She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

                      I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'

                      She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

                      I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'

                      The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

                      Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                      • George KG George K

                        My wife and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

                        Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

                        She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

                        I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'

                        She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

                        I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'

                        The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

                        Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

                        Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3C Offline
                        Catseye3
                        wrote on last edited by Catseye3
                        #686

                        @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                        WTF did he think you were trying to do???

                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                        • Catseye3C Catseye3

                          @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                          WTF did he think you were trying to do???

                          George KG Offline
                          George KG Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #687

                          @Catseye3 said in So....:

                          @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                          WTF did he think you were doing???

                          Two things:

                          1. Checking the effectiveness of our education system.
                          2. Making xer job easier.

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • George KG Offline
                            George KG Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #688

                            Can w‌‌e b‌‌an “‌‌Yo M‌‌omma” j‌‌okes?

                            T‌‌hey’re o‌‌ld, s‌‌tupid, a‌‌nd h‌‌ave b‌‌een d‌‌one b‌‌y l‌‌iterally e‌‌veryone h‌‌undreds o‌‌f t‌‌imes.

                            Just like yo momma.

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #689

                              I really don't watch soccer...

                              If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would have taken my friends out to the bar.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #690

                                So…. 50% of Roger Federer’s name is “er”.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • George KG Offline
                                  George KG Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #691

                                  So, yesterday was the Fourth of July, I just told my daughters they were named after George Washington.

                                  About 280 years after to be precise.

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #692

                                    I’ve never been very good at geography. But I can name one city in France, which is nice.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #693

                                      How many Mexicans does it take to..

                                      HOLY SHIT THEY’RE ALREADY DONE

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #694

                                        How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

                                        THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • George KG Offline
                                          George KG Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #695

                                          ’m so tired of Millennials and their attitudes.

                                          Always walking around like they rent the place.

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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