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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Online
    J Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 27 Jun 2022, 12:36 last edited by
    #678

    The guy that coined the term “one hit wonder” never came up with another catchy phrase.

    Only non-witches get due process.

    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Online
      J Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 29 Jun 2022, 00:09 last edited by
      #679

      My friend had strobe lights installed in his bedroom. He says the sex is the same, but his wife looks like she’s moving.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • X Offline
        X Offline
        xenon
        wrote on 29 Jun 2022, 00:12 last edited by
        #680

        What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

        The taste.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • X Offline
          X Offline
          xenon
          wrote on 29 Jun 2022, 00:12 last edited by
          #681

          I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people...

          ...but none of them work.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • X Offline
            X Offline
            xenon
            wrote on 29 Jun 2022, 00:14 last edited by
            #682

            So this guy with premature ejaculation comes outta nowhere...

            1 Reply Last reply
            • C Offline
              C Offline
              Catseye3
              wrote on 29 Jun 2022, 03:35 last edited by
              #683

              Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund.

              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

              1 Reply Last reply
              • J Online
                J Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on 29 Jun 2022, 13:21 last edited by
                #684

                I heard this cool music coming from my printer last night.

                Apparently my paper was jamming.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • G Offline
                  G Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on 30 Jun 2022, 23:29 last edited by
                  #685

                  My wife and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

                  Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

                  She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

                  I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'

                  She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

                  I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'

                  The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

                  Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  C 1 Reply Last reply 30 Jun 2022, 23:32
                  • G George K
                    30 Jun 2022, 23:29

                    My wife and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

                    Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

                    She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

                    I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'

                    She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

                    I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'

                    The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

                    Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

                    C Offline
                    C Offline
                    Catseye3
                    wrote on 30 Jun 2022, 23:32 last edited by Catseye3
                    #686

                    @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                    WTF did he think you were trying to do???

                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                    G 1 Reply Last reply 30 Jun 2022, 23:34
                    • C Catseye3
                      30 Jun 2022, 23:32

                      @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                      WTF did he think you were trying to do???

                      G Offline
                      G Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on 30 Jun 2022, 23:34 last edited by
                      #687

                      @Catseye3 said in So....:

                      @George-K "That kind of thing???"

                      WTF did he think you were doing???

                      Two things:

                      1. Checking the effectiveness of our education system.
                      2. Making xer job easier.

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • G Offline
                        G Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on 2 Jul 2022, 10:45 last edited by
                        #688

                        Can w‌‌e b‌‌an “‌‌Yo M‌‌omma” j‌‌okes?

                        T‌‌hey’re o‌‌ld, s‌‌tupid, a‌‌nd h‌‌ave b‌‌een d‌‌one b‌‌y l‌‌iterally e‌‌veryone h‌‌undreds o‌‌f t‌‌imes.

                        Just like yo momma.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • G Offline
                          G Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on 3 Jul 2022, 22:50 last edited by
                          #689

                          I really don't watch soccer...

                          If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would have taken my friends out to the bar.

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • J Online
                            J Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 4 Jul 2022, 11:21 last edited by
                            #690

                            So…. 50% of Roger Federer’s name is “er”.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • G Offline
                              G Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on 5 Jul 2022, 14:44 last edited by
                              #691

                              So, yesterday was the Fourth of July, I just told my daughters they were named after George Washington.

                              About 280 years after to be precise.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • J Online
                                J Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 10 Jul 2022, 09:03 last edited by
                                #692

                                I’ve never been very good at geography. But I can name one city in France, which is nice.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Online
                                  J Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 11 Jul 2022, 21:56 last edited by
                                  #693

                                  How many Mexicans does it take to..

                                  HOLY SHIT THEY’RE ALREADY DONE

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • J Online
                                    J Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on 11 Jul 2022, 21:57 last edited by
                                    #694

                                    How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

                                    THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • G Offline
                                      G Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on 13 Jul 2022, 23:57 last edited by
                                      #695

                                      ’m so tired of Millennials and their attitudes.

                                      Always walking around like they rent the place.

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • G Offline
                                        G Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on 17 Jul 2022, 11:26 last edited by
                                        #696

                                        A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.

                                        Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”

                                        “Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

                                        “But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

                                        “Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”

                                        Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”

                                        “True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        I 1 Reply Last reply 17 Jul 2022, 15:33
                                        • G George K
                                          17 Jul 2022, 11:26

                                          A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.

                                          Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”

                                          “Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

                                          “But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

                                          “Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”

                                          Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”

                                          “True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”

                                          I Offline
                                          I Offline
                                          Ivorythumper
                                          wrote on 17 Jul 2022, 15:33 last edited by
                                          #697

                                          @George-K said in So....:

                                          A Greek and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.

                                          Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”

                                          “Well, it was the Jews who discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

                                          “But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

                                          “Granted, but it was the Jews who built the first timepieces.”

                                          Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”

                                          “True enough, but it was the Jews who got women involved.”

                                          And was the Jews who thought it was a good idea to mangle the pecker and remove the nerve ending which make it pleasurable….

                                          G J 2 Replies Last reply 17 Jul 2022, 15:41
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                                          30 Jun 2022, 23:34


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