So....
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I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.
Didn't work.
Tonight I will put it in the front.
That's a version of the old joke about Sven and Ole going to the beach to get some girls. Ole asks Sven how it is that Sven gets all the girls' attention. Sven says, "Oh, ja, vell dat's cuz I put a potato in my svim trunks, doncha know."
Ole is impressed with Sven's ingenuity, so he tries it the next day at the beach. To his dismay, it doesn't work at all. In fact, the girls like him even less than before.
Ole asks Sven how it is that the potato trick didn't work for him. Sven replies, "Ya put it in da front, Ole! In da front!"
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A man rushes his wife to the ER. For 2 hours he paces back and forth, waiting to hear something from the Dr. Finally the Dr. Come into the waiting room.
Dr: "Sir, your wife doesn't look very good."
Man: "Y eah, I know... but she's a good cook and the kids seem to like her...."
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The version I heard….
Cop shows up at the door, talks to the guy there.
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but it looks like your wife got run over by a bus”
“Yeah I know but she takes it up the ass and is good with the kids”.