So....
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I was sitting at a bar last night and this Asian-looking fellow sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer.
I glance over at him and ask if he knows any of those martial arts like kung fu, karate or ju jitsu.
He says, "No, WTF man? Are you asking because I'm Chinese?"
I said, "No, it's because you're drinking my beer."
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So, I’m now my wife’s sexual advisor.
Just yesterday she told me when she wants my fucking advice she’ll ask for it.
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My gym declared bankruptcy yesterday. Who’s the quitter now, bitches?
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I thought naming my dog ‘Shark’ was a good idea until I took him to the beach.
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An epidemiologist, an ER doc, and an infectious disease specialist walk into a bar....
... just kidding.
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The ER doc part makes it ring slightly less true, what with the ER docs who own urgent care clinics that were losing money due to the shelter in place/lock down orders, and who coincidentally came to a scientific conclusion that maybe those orders weren't in society's best interest after all.
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So.. a cat walks into a telegram office. The guy hands the cat a form to write his message on. The cat writes "meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow" and hands it to the man.
The man says "That's only nine "meows". You can send another "meow" for the same price if you want.
The cat says "yeah, but then it wouldn't make any sense,,,,"
