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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Online
    J Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on 14 May 2022, 21:15 last edited by
    #650

    Anybody can masturbate under a sheet.

    But it takes real skill to do it without the hairdresser noticing.

    You were warned.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • L Offline
      L Offline
      Larry
      wrote on 15 May 2022, 15:22 last edited by
      #651

      So....

      Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...

      So they can see their Air Force....

      I 1 Reply Last reply 16 May 2022, 03:32
      • L Larry
        15 May 2022, 15:22

        So....

        Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...

        So they can see their Air Force....

        I Offline
        I Offline
        Ivorythumper
        wrote on 16 May 2022, 03:32 last edited by
        #652

        @Larry said in So....:

        So....

        Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...

        So they can see their Air Force Navy....

        FIFYNNTTM

        1 Reply Last reply
        • G Offline
          G Offline
          George K
          wrote on 21 May 2022, 13:42 last edited by
          #653

          If Elon Musk came out as gay, would you oppose Musk man dates?

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Online
            J Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 24 May 2022, 17:00 last edited by
            #654

            I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman.

            In my experience you get far less pepper spray in them that way.

            You were warned.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Online
              J Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 24 May 2022, 22:56 last edited by
              #655

              I met my girlfriend on tinder.

              Man that was awkward.

              You were warned.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • L Offline
                L Offline
                LuFins Dad
                wrote on 24 May 2022, 23:21 last edited by
                #656

                I’ve started seeing a girl… Fortunately, she hasn’t seen me, yet.

                The Brad

                1 Reply Last reply
                • C Offline
                  C Offline
                  Catseye3
                  wrote on 26 May 2022, 12:36 last edited by
                  #657

                  Q. Why is the sand wet?
                  A. Because the sea weed.

                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                  I 1 Reply Last reply 26 May 2022, 19:44
                  • C Offline
                    C Offline
                    Catseye3
                    wrote on 26 May 2022, 13:08 last edited by
                    #658

                    "How am I supposed to trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?"

                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on 26 May 2022, 14:58 last edited by
                      #659

                      So....

                      The sexual position known as 69 will henceforth be known as 96 as the cost of eating out has gone up...

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • C Catseye3
                        26 May 2022, 12:36

                        Q. Why is the sand wet?
                        A. Because the sea weed.

                        I Offline
                        I Offline
                        Ivorythumper
                        wrote on 26 May 2022, 19:44 last edited by
                        #660

                        @Catseye3 said in So....:

                        Q. Why is the sand wet?
                        A. Because the sea weed.

                        HAHA!

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • G Offline
                          G Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on 29 May 2022, 21:30 last edited by
                          #661

                          The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

                          He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • G Offline
                            G Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on 31 May 2022, 14:17 last edited by
                            #662

                            What pronouns does chocolate use?

                            Her/she.

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Online
                              J Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 1 Jun 2022, 19:23 last edited by
                              #663

                              So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                              He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                              You were warned.

                              B 1 Reply Last reply 2 Jun 2022, 01:18
                              • J jon-nyc
                                1 Jun 2022, 19:23

                                So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                                He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                                B Offline
                                B Offline
                                brenda
                                wrote on 2 Jun 2022, 01:18 last edited by
                                #664

                                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                So.. I asked my grandfather how, after 70 years of marriage, why he still calls grandma "sweetie" or "love" or "gorgeous"....

                                He replied, "I forgot her name years ago and there's no way I could ask."

                                Hubby loves this one! Very appropriate for us today, too. Thanks, Jon!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Online
                                  J Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 4 Jun 2022, 01:31 last edited by
                                  #665

                                  I found a hat with $17.50 in it.

                                  At first I thought this other guy was going to pick it up. But he was too busy juggling.

                                  You were warned.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on 5 Jun 2022, 11:52 last edited by
                                    #666

                                    I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                                    Didn't work.

                                    Tonight I will put it in the front.

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    B 1 Reply Last reply 6 Jun 2022, 14:03
                                    • G George K
                                      5 Jun 2022, 11:52

                                      I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                                      Didn't work.

                                      Tonight I will put it in the front.

                                      B Offline
                                      B Offline
                                      brenda
                                      wrote on 6 Jun 2022, 14:03 last edited by
                                      #667

                                      @George-K said in So....:

                                      I put a banana down my pants to attract the ladies at the bar.

                                      Didn't work.

                                      Tonight I will put it in the front.

                                      That's a version of the old joke about Sven and Ole going to the beach to get some girls. Ole asks Sven how it is that Sven gets all the girls' attention. Sven says, "Oh, ja, vell dat's cuz I put a potato in my svim trunks, doncha know."

                                      Ole is impressed with Sven's ingenuity, so he tries it the next day at the beach. To his dismay, it doesn't work at all. In fact, the girls like him even less than before.

                                      Ole asks Sven how it is that the potato trick didn't work for him. Sven replies, "Ya put it in da front, Ole! In da front!"

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J Online
                                        J Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 7 Jun 2022, 02:49 last edited by
                                        #668

                                        After sex the other night, I was worried that I had ejaculated prematurely. But my wife assured me it was ok.

                                        It was a load off my mind.

                                        You were warned.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 9 Jun 2022, 11:34 last edited by
                                          #669

                                          The worst thing about getting gas right now is how long it takes to fill out the loan application.

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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                                          26 May 2022, 14:58


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