So....
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wrote on 29 Apr 2022, 02:02 last edited by
Did you know pigeons can only have sex once, then they die?
At least the one I fucked.
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wrote on 30 Apr 2022, 12:10 last edited by
So.....
At the store there's a great big "X" painted on the floor near the cash register to tell me where to stand...
I've seen too many Road Runner movies to fall for THAT one......
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wrote on 1 May 2022, 19:27 last edited by
The next time you do something that makes you feel stupid, just remember that Kim Kardashian played poker wearing mirrored sunglasses.
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wrote on 5 May 2022, 15:30 last edited by
Studies have shown people eat more bananas than monkeys.
Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.
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Studies have shown people eat more bananas than monkeys.
Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.
wrote on 5 May 2022, 15:47 last edited by -
wrote on 5 May 2022, 15:47 last edited by
racist
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wrote on 5 May 2022, 21:01 last edited by
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 10:13 last edited by
Therapist: What would you say to your dad if he were alive today?
Me: I’m sorry for cremating you. We honestly thought you were dead.
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 11:48 last edited by
Having sex before going to work makes you feel like a manager.
I almost fired my boss today.
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 17:47 last edited by
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 22:24 last edited by
I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 18:52 last edited by
So....
I've always wondered why mosquitos don't become lawyers.
They're already blood sucking parasites, all they need is a briefcase....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 18:55 last edited by
So..,,
A farmer"s wife left him after she caught him having sex with one of the horses..It was her worst fucking night mare....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:00 last edited by
So....
For years I was a circus performer. For my act, I would place a walnut on a table, then take out my Johnson, swing it at the walnut and crack it open.
Recently though I've switched to a coconut.
My eyesight isn't what it used to be....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:02 last edited by
So...
My doctor told me I could touch myself any time I wanted to.
Well.... his exact words were "you could have a stroke at any time" but hey.....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:07 last edited by
So....
The worst thing to feel during a prostate exam is two hands on your shoulders....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:10 last edited by
So...
"IT'S A BOY!! IT'S A BOY!!" I yelled, as i made a mental note to never visit Thailand again...
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wrote on 8 May 2022, 02:00 last edited by
Her: My husband’s been having trouble falling asleep.
Dr: Have you tried telling him about your day?
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wrote on 8 May 2022, 13:37 last edited by
My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
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wrote on 9 May 2022, 22:12 last edited by
The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.
It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.