So....
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wrote on 26 Apr 2022, 13:29 last edited by
What’s the difference between USA and USB?
One connects to your devices and accesses all of your data. The other is a hardware standard.
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wrote on 26 Apr 2022, 21:47 last edited by
I told my Chinese girlfriend last night I wanted 69.
She said “why do you want beef and broccoli now?”
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wrote on 29 Apr 2022, 02:02 last edited by
Did you know pigeons can only have sex once, then they die?
At least the one I fucked.
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wrote on 30 Apr 2022, 12:10 last edited by
So.....
At the store there's a great big "X" painted on the floor near the cash register to tell me where to stand...
I've seen too many Road Runner movies to fall for THAT one......
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wrote on 1 May 2022, 19:27 last edited by
The next time you do something that makes you feel stupid, just remember that Kim Kardashian played poker wearing mirrored sunglasses.
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wrote on 5 May 2022, 15:30 last edited by
Studies have shown people eat more bananas than monkeys.
Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.
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Studies have shown people eat more bananas than monkeys.
Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.
wrote on 5 May 2022, 15:47 last edited by -
wrote on 5 May 2022, 15:47 last edited by
racist
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wrote on 5 May 2022, 21:01 last edited by
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 10:13 last edited by
Therapist: What would you say to your dad if he were alive today?
Me: I’m sorry for cremating you. We honestly thought you were dead.
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 11:48 last edited by
Having sex before going to work makes you feel like a manager.
I almost fired my boss today.
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 17:47 last edited by
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 22:24 last edited by
I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 18:52 last edited by
So....
I've always wondered why mosquitos don't become lawyers.
They're already blood sucking parasites, all they need is a briefcase....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 18:55 last edited by
So..,,
A farmer"s wife left him after she caught him having sex with one of the horses..It was her worst fucking night mare....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:00 last edited by
So....
For years I was a circus performer. For my act, I would place a walnut on a table, then take out my Johnson, swing it at the walnut and crack it open.
Recently though I've switched to a coconut.
My eyesight isn't what it used to be....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:02 last edited by
So...
My doctor told me I could touch myself any time I wanted to.
Well.... his exact words were "you could have a stroke at any time" but hey.....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:07 last edited by
So....
The worst thing to feel during a prostate exam is two hands on your shoulders....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:10 last edited by
So...
"IT'S A BOY!! IT'S A BOY!!" I yelled, as i made a mental note to never visit Thailand again...
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wrote on 8 May 2022, 02:00 last edited by
Her: My husband’s been having trouble falling asleep.
Dr: Have you tried telling him about your day?