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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Larry
    wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 15:34 last edited by
    #481

    So....

    I did some mechanic work yesterday.

    I put a rear end in a recliner.....

    1 Reply Last reply
    • L Offline
      L Offline
      Larry
      wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 15:35 last edited by
      #482

      Breaking news:

      Resident Biden has tested positive for Moronavirus....

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Online
        J Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 17:18 last edited by jon-nyc
        #483

        I got in touch with my inner self today.

        That’s the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper.

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Online
          J Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 19:29 last edited by
          #484

          Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites.

          We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Online
            J Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 18 Jan 2022, 23:06 last edited by
            #485

            This dwarf I know wanted to quit his job to become a butcher.

            But the steaks were too high.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Online
              J Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 19 Jan 2022, 02:53 last edited by
              #486

              Why is fat-shaming people wrong?

              They already have a lot on their plate.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • J Online
                J Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on 20 Jan 2022, 01:52 last edited by
                #487

                Friends are like giraffes.

                If you shoot them, they die.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Online
                  J Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 20 Jan 2022, 01:52 last edited by
                  #488

                  What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

                  “Where’s my tractor????”

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Online
                    J Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 20 Jan 2022, 23:55 last edited by
                    #489

                    In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                    It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    G L 2 Replies Last reply 21 Jan 2022, 00:09
                    • J jon-nyc
                      20 Jan 2022, 23:55

                      In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                      It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                      G Offline
                      G Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on 21 Jan 2022, 00:09 last edited by
                      #490

                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                      In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                      It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                      alt text

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J jon-nyc
                        20 Jan 2022, 23:55

                        In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                        It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        LuFins Dad
                        wrote on 21 Jan 2022, 00:25 last edited by LuFins Dad
                        #491

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                        It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                        Okay, that is stolen… Edit… @George-K LMFAO

                        The Brad

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J Online
                          J Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 23 Jan 2022, 15:45 last edited by
                          #492

                          I have a fear of over-engineered buildings.

                          It’s a complex complex complex.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • L Offline
                            L Offline
                            LuFins Dad
                            wrote on 25 Jan 2022, 02:28 last edited by
                            #493

                            Did you see the Origami Championship on TV last night? It was Pay Per View…

                            The Brad

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Online
                              J Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 28 Jan 2022, 13:43 last edited by
                              #494

                              There's no need to tailgate me in the slow lane, especially when I'm going 35mph over the speed limit.

                              And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • G George K
                                16 Jan 2022, 12:29

                                Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

                                Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral.

                                However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

                                One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

                                The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him,
                                "Do you notice anything different about me?"

                                The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

                                The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

                                The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."

                                The Admiral threw him out as well.

                                The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

                                To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."

                                The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

                                "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.

                                The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Catseye3
                                wrote on 28 Jan 2022, 19:52 last edited by
                                #495

                                @george-k said in So....:

                                "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

                                7c536b33-f2d3-4f3c-9887-5315c8c4308b-image.png

                                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • J Online
                                  J Online
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on 28 Jan 2022, 21:59 last edited by
                                  #496

                                  Remember - taking the vegetables off your double bacon cheeseburger reduces the amount of calories consumed.

                                  Only non-witches get due process.

                                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • G George K referenced this topic on 28 Jan 2022, 22:03
                                  • J Online
                                    J Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on 29 Jan 2022, 03:30 last edited by
                                    #497

                                    Boobs are like train sets. They’re met for kids but dads love them too.

                                    Oh, and you can do more with the bigger sets.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Online
                                      J Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 31 Jan 2022, 23:01 last edited by
                                      #498

                                      So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.

                                      In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      G 1 Reply Last reply 2 Feb 2022, 23:26
                                      • J Online
                                        J Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 2 Feb 2022, 23:22 last edited by
                                        #499

                                        So… I bought a wheelbarrow for my testicles.

                                        It drives me nuts.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • J jon-nyc
                                          31 Jan 2022, 23:01

                                          So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.

                                          In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 2 Feb 2022, 23:26 last edited by
                                          #500

                                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                          So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.
                                          In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.

                                          I SO wanted to share that, but...nah.

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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                                          21 Jan 2022, 00:09


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