So....

[jon-nyc]

Why won’t tampons talk to you?

Because they’re stuck-up cunts.

[jon-nyc]

Dad: "I named you after my father."

After My Father: "I know."

[Larry]

So....

I did some mechanic work yesterday.

I put a rear end in a recliner.....

[Larry]

Breaking news:

Resident Biden has tested positive for Moronavirus....

[jon-nyc]

I got in touch with my inner self today.

That’s the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper.

[jon-nyc]

Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites.

We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

[jon-nyc]

This dwarf I know wanted to quit his job to become a butcher.

But the steaks were too high.

[jon-nyc]

Why is fat-shaming people wrong?

They already have a lot on their plate.

[jon-nyc]

Friends are like giraffes.

If you shoot them, they die.

[jon-nyc]

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

“Where’s my tractor????”

[jon-nyc]

In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

[George K]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

[LuFins Dad]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

Okay, that is stolen… Edit… @George-K LMFAO

[jon-nyc]

I have a fear of over-engineered buildings.

It’s a complex complex complex.

[LuFins Dad]

Did you see the Origami Championship on TV last night? It was Pay Per View…

[jon-nyc]

There's no need to tailgate me in the slow lane, especially when I'm going 35mph over the speed limit.

And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.

[Catseye3]

@george-k said in So....:

"Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

[jon-nyc]

Remember - taking the vegetables off your double bacon cheeseburger reduces the amount of calories consumed.

[jon-nyc]

Boobs are like train sets. They’re met for kids but dads love them too.

Oh, and you can do more with the bigger sets.

[jon-nyc]

So…. My girlfriend gave me a blow job on the way over to her parents house.

In hindsight we should have waited until we dropped them off.