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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by
    #478

    Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

    Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral.

    However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

    One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

    The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him,
    "Do you notice anything different about me?"

    The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

    The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

    The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."

    The Admiral threw him out as well.

    The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

    To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."

    The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

    "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.

    The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #479

      Why won’t tampons talk to you?

      Because they’re stuck-up cunts.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #480

        Dad: "I named you after my father."

        After My Father: "I know."

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • LarryL Offline
          LarryL Offline
          Larry
          wrote on last edited by
          #481

          So....

          I did some mechanic work yesterday.

          I put a rear end in a recliner.....

          1 Reply Last reply
          • LarryL Offline
            LarryL Offline
            Larry
            wrote on last edited by
            #482

            Breaking news:

            Resident Biden has tested positive for Moronavirus....

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
              #483

              I got in touch with my inner self today.

              That’s the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #484

                Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites.

                We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

                Only non-witches get due process.

                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #485

                  This dwarf I know wanted to quit his job to become a butcher.

                  But the steaks were too high.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nycJ Online
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #486

                    Why is fat-shaming people wrong?

                    They already have a lot on their plate.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #487

                      Friends are like giraffes.

                      If you shoot them, they die.

                      Only non-witches get due process.

                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #488

                        What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

                        “Where’s my tractor????”

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #489

                          In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                          It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          George KG LuFins DadL 2 Replies Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                            In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                            It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                            George KG Offline
                            George KG Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #490

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                            It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                            alt text

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                              In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                              It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                              LuFins DadL Offline
                              LuFins DadL Offline
                              LuFins Dad
                              wrote on last edited by LuFins Dad
                              #491

                              @jon-nyc said in So....:

                              In the old west they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.

                              It was the first form of saddle light navigation.

                              Okay, that is stolen… Edit… @George-K LMFAO

                              The Brad

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #492

                                I have a fear of over-engineered buildings.

                                It’s a complex complex complex.

                                Only non-witches get due process.

                                • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • LuFins DadL Offline
                                  LuFins DadL Offline
                                  LuFins Dad
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #493

                                  Did you see the Origami Championship on TV last night? It was Pay Per View…

                                  The Brad

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #494

                                    There's no need to tailgate me in the slow lane, especially when I'm going 35mph over the speed limit.

                                    And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.

                                    Only non-witches get due process.

                                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • George KG George K

                                      Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.

                                      Since he wasn't physically impaired, he remained on flight status and eventually became an Admiral.

                                      However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

                                      One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

                                      The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him,
                                      "Do you notice anything different about me?"

                                      The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

                                      The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

                                      The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."

                                      The Admiral threw him out as well.

                                      The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"

                                      To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."

                                      The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

                                      "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.

                                      The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3C Offline
                                      Catseye3
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #495

                                      @george-k said in So....:

                                      "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear.

                                      7c536b33-f2d3-4f3c-9887-5315c8c4308b-image.png

                                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #496

                                        Remember - taking the vegetables off your double bacon cheeseburger reduces the amount of calories consumed.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • George KG George K referenced this topic on
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #497

                                          Boobs are like train sets. They’re met for kids but dads love them too.

                                          Oh, and you can do more with the bigger sets.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          1 Reply Last reply
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