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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

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  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

    2F706335-A68C-407B-BCAB-B94023CC6640.jpeg

    George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by
    #455

    @jon-nyc our anesthesia tech (she maintained the equipment, helped us put in lines, stocked, etc) was a rather colorful gal.

    She had a cat that developed some severe mats and had to have them shaved off.

    She said, "Wanna see my shaved pussy?"

    Anyhow, on a trip to Tennessee, the transmission on her car gave out.

    Yeah, she told us that she blew a tranny in Tennessee.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nycJ Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #456

      Ha!

      "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
      -Cormac McCarthy

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #457

        So…. I spent $350 on a limousine only to find out it didn’t include the cost of the driver.

        All that money and nothing to chauffeur it!

        "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
        -Cormac McCarthy

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #458

          I was having sex with my friend’s wife and her phone rang. I recognized his voice so I started quietly getting dressed. She hung up and said “it’s ok, we have time. He’s out having drinks with you”.

          "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
          -Cormac McCarthy

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nycJ Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #459

            So…. I had a prostate exam yesterday.

            That’s the last time I fall asleep on the train.

            "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
            -Cormac McCarthy

            1 Reply Last reply
            • George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #460

              A German got pulled over by the police in France.

              Police officer: “Name?”

              German: “Heinrich Klimt”

              Police officer: “Age?”

              German: “31”

              Police officer: “occupation?”

              German: “No, no. Just visiting”

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #461

                When I win the lottery I’m giving money to Charity.

                If she’s not dancing that night I’ll give it to Destiny.

                "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                -Cormac McCarthy

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #462

                  I once felt like a boy trapped in a girl’s body.

                  Then I was born.

                  "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                  -Cormac McCarthy

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #463

                    Millennials: Walking around like they rent the place.

                    "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                    -Cormac McCarthy

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nycJ Offline
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #464

                      There may be no "I" in team, but there's a "U" in suck.

                      "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                      -Cormac McCarthy

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nycJ Offline
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                        #465

                        This morning I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick.

                        She still isn't talking to me.

                        "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                        -Cormac McCarthy

                        LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                          This morning I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick.

                          She still isn't talking to me.

                          LarryL Offline
                          LarryL Offline
                          Larry
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #466

                          @jon-nyc said in So....:

                          This morning I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick.

                          She still isn't talking to me.

                          I got my toothpaste and my Preparation H mixed up....

                          I still can't open my mouth, but my butthole is minty fresh..

                          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                          • LarryL Larry

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            This morning I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick.

                            She still isn't talking to me.

                            I got my toothpaste and my Preparation H mixed up....

                            I still can't open my mouth, but my butthole is minty fresh..

                            George KG Offline
                            George KG Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #467

                            @larry said in So....:

                            my butthole is minty fresh..

                            Is that what Aqua's sister told you?

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #468

                              I must have asked 50 people what LGBTQ+ stands for. So far nobody has given me a straight answer.

                              "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                              -Cormac McCarthy

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nycJ Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #469

                                My superpower is proofreading skills.

                                After I hit 'send'.

                                "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                -Cormac McCarthy

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nycJ Offline
                                  jon-nyc
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #470

                                  The next time you hate your life, remember it's all about perspective. I have a friend who exercises twice a day, reads two books a week, and has sex 2-3 times a day, yet he complains about how much he hates prison.

                                  "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                  -Cormac McCarthy

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #471

                                    I went into a burger joint for lunch today and the woman behind the counter had a badge on her left breast that said Pat.

                                    To make a long story short, I am now banned from Burger King.

                                    "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                    -Cormac McCarthy

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #472

                                      If you drop a chocolate chip cookie on the floor and stoop down to pick it up, that counts as a squat, right?

                                      jon-nycJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • LarryL Larry

                                        If you drop a chocolate chip cookie on the floor and stoop down to pick it up, that counts as a squat, right?

                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nycJ Offline
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #473

                                        @larry said in So....:

                                        If you drop a chocolate chip cookie on the floor and stoop down to pick it up, that counts as a squat, right?

                                        Or a lunge if you have to beat the dog to it.

                                        "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                        -Cormac McCarthy

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #474

                                          When I meet a woman I try to see what’s in her heart.

                                          It’s not my fault her tits are in the way.

                                          "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
                                          -Cormac McCarthy

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