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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • George KG George K

    A Young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everthing under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

    The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

    Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

    His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?"

    The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One".

    The boss says "Just ONE?!! Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son.”

    The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"

    The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

    The boss, astonished, says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

    The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. The I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so i took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4 x 4 Expedition."

    The Boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK?"

    The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing'."

    LuFins DadL Offline
    LuFins DadL Offline
    LuFins Dad
    wrote on last edited by
    #452

    @george-k said in So....:

    A Young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everthing under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

    The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

    Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

    His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?"

    The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One".

    The boss says "Just ONE?!! Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son.”

    The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"

    The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

    The boss, astonished, says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

    The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. The I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so i took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4 x 4 Expedition."

    The Boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK?"

    The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing'."

    That old dog’s been around for decades…

    The Brad

    George KG 1 Reply Last reply
    • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

      @george-k said in So....:

      A Young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everthing under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

      The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

      Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

      His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?"

      The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One".

      The boss says "Just ONE?!! Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son.”

      The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"

      The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

      The boss, astonished, says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

      The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. The I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so i took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4 x 4 Expedition."

      The Boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK?"

      The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing'."

      That old dog’s been around for decades…

      George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #453

      @lufins-dad said in So....:

      That old dog’s been around for decades…

      And so have I....

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #454

        2F706335-A68C-407B-BCAB-B94023CC6640.jpeg

        You were warned.

        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

          2F706335-A68C-407B-BCAB-B94023CC6640.jpeg

          George KG Offline
          George KG Offline
          George K
          wrote on last edited by
          #455

          @jon-nyc our anesthesia tech (she maintained the equipment, helped us put in lines, stocked, etc) was a rather colorful gal.

          She had a cat that developed some severe mats and had to have them shaved off.

          She said, "Wanna see my shaved pussy?"

          Anyhow, on a trip to Tennessee, the transmission on her car gave out.

          Yeah, she told us that she blew a tranny in Tennessee.

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #456

            Ha!

            You were warned.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #457

              So…. I spent $350 on a limousine only to find out it didn’t include the cost of the driver.

              All that money and nothing to chauffeur it!

              You were warned.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #458

                I was having sex with my friend’s wife and her phone rang. I recognized his voice so I started quietly getting dressed. She hung up and said “it’s ok, we have time. He’s out having drinks with you”.

                You were warned.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nycJ Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #459

                  So…. I had a prostate exam yesterday.

                  That’s the last time I fall asleep on the train.

                  You were warned.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • George KG Offline
                    George KG Offline
                    George K
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #460

                    A German got pulled over by the police in France.

                    Police officer: “Name?”

                    German: “Heinrich Klimt”

                    Police officer: “Age?”

                    German: “31”

                    Police officer: “occupation?”

                    German: “No, no. Just visiting”

                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nycJ Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #461

                      When I win the lottery I’m giving money to Charity.

                      If she’s not dancing that night I’ll give it to Destiny.

                      You were warned.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #462

                        I once felt like a boy trapped in a girl’s body.

                        Then I was born.

                        You were warned.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #463

                          Millennials: Walking around like they rent the place.

                          You were warned.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nycJ Online
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #464

                            There may be no "I" in team, but there's a "U" in suck.

                            You were warned.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nycJ Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                              #465

                              This morning I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick.

                              She still isn't talking to me.

                              You were warned.

                              LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                                This morning I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick.

                                She still isn't talking to me.

                                LarryL Offline
                                LarryL Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #466

                                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                This morning I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick.

                                She still isn't talking to me.

                                I got my toothpaste and my Preparation H mixed up....

                                I still can't open my mouth, but my butthole is minty fresh..

                                George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Larry

                                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                  This morning I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick.

                                  She still isn't talking to me.

                                  I got my toothpaste and my Preparation H mixed up....

                                  I still can't open my mouth, but my butthole is minty fresh..

                                  George KG Offline
                                  George KG Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #467

                                  @larry said in So....:

                                  my butthole is minty fresh..

                                  Is that what Aqua's sister told you?

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nycJ Online
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #468

                                    I must have asked 50 people what LGBTQ+ stands for. So far nobody has given me a straight answer.

                                    You were warned.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nycJ Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #469

                                      My superpower is proofreading skills.

                                      After I hit 'send'.

                                      You were warned.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nycJ Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #470

                                        The next time you hate your life, remember it's all about perspective. I have a friend who exercises twice a day, reads two books a week, and has sex 2-3 times a day, yet he complains about how much he hates prison.

                                        You were warned.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #471

                                          I went into a burger joint for lunch today and the woman behind the counter had a badge on her left breast that said Pat.

                                          To make a long story short, I am now banned from Burger King.

                                          You were warned.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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