So....
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Everybody who's here for the yodeling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly orderly line...
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wrote on 17 Aug 2021, 00:08 last edited by
What does sex and the military have in common?
You end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money when you pull out at the wrong time….
(Maybe too soon)
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What does sex and the military have in common?
You end up wasting 20 years and a lot of money when you pull out at the wrong time….
(Maybe too soon)
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wrote on 19 Aug 2021, 05:34 last edited by
I tried drag racing the other day.
It was BRUTAL running in those heels......
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wrote on 19 Aug 2021, 05:35 last edited by
So...
I was captured by a mime...
He did unspeakable things to me....
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wrote on 23 Aug 2021, 17:08 last edited by
I don’t always roll a joint.
But when I do it’s my ankle.
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wrote on 4 Sept 2021, 08:08 last edited by
So I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.
How the hell am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?
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wrote on 4 Sept 2021, 23:36 last edited by
When I was younger, I thought "Drink Responsibly" meant don't spill it.
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wrote on 5 Sept 2021, 01:49 last edited by
In retrospect, hiding the microchips in the horse dewormer was brilliant.
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wrote on 5 Sept 2021, 04:36 last edited by
The women of king Arthur’s court must have been happy….
….they Camelot.
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wrote on 9 Sept 2021, 23:48 last edited by
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Doyathinkhesaurus.
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wrote on 9 Sept 2021, 23:50 last edited by
I went to a zoo the other day.
It only had one animal.
A dog.
It was a shitzu.
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wrote on 10 Sept 2021, 00:13 last edited by
So I was at the bar last night and the waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?"
I said, "Hell, I know the entire alphabet."
Everyone laughed . . . well, everyone except this one guy.
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wrote on 10 Sept 2021, 13:28 last edited by
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one: they are very efficient and have no sense of humour.
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wrote on 11 Sept 2021, 15:23 last edited by
I just turned wine into vomit.
Your move, Jesus.
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wrote on 11 Sept 2021, 17:56 last edited by
Did you hear about Xerox and Wurlitzer merging? They are going to focus on reproductive organs.
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wrote on 13 Sept 2021, 09:11 last edited by
I went on a blind date once.
It didn’t start out that way but the bitch brought pepper spray.
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wrote on 18 Sept 2021, 16:10 last edited by
I dipped my ball in glitter this morning.
Pretty nuts.
"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08
The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.
