So....
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I don’t always roll a joint.
But when I do it’s my ankle.
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So I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.
How the hell am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?
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In retrospect, hiding the microchips in the horse dewormer was brilliant.
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I just turned wine into vomit.
Your move, Jesus.
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Did you hear about Xerox and Wurlitzer merging? They are going to focus on reproductive organs.
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I went on a blind date once.
It didn’t start out that way but the bitch brought pepper spray.