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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    Jolly
    wrote on 25 Jul 2021, 13:06 last edited by
    #302

    So...

    Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there.

    The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.

    The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."

    The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."

    While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires.

    They both scream, "What are you doing?!?" "Trying to get an adequate sample size!"

    β€œCry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

    Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". β€” Buck Sexton

    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Offline
      J Offline
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 26 Jul 2021, 09:48 last edited by
      #303

      What if UFOs are just billionaires from other planets?

      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • L Offline
        L Offline
        Larry
        wrote on 28 Jul 2021, 19:26 last edited by Larry
        #304

        I'm getting sick and tired of pretentious pricks trying to impress everyone by mentioning Mozart as if that makes them appear "cultured"...,,

        When the assholes have probably never even seen one of his paintings.....

        1 Reply Last reply
        • L Offline
          L Offline
          Larry
          wrote on 28 Jul 2021, 19:30 last edited by
          #305

          So.......

          You'd think that by now Bon Jovi would be more than halfway there...

          1 Reply Last reply
          • L Offline
            L Offline
            Larry
            wrote on 28 Jul 2021, 19:34 last edited by
            #306

            The most common cause of dry skin:

            Towels

            1 Reply Last reply
            • M Offline
              M Offline
              MainerMikeBrown
              wrote on 28 Jul 2021, 19:40 last edited by
              #307

              What's the most common cause of athlete's foot?

              Just curious.

              H 1 Reply Last reply 28 Jul 2021, 20:17
              • M MainerMikeBrown
                28 Jul 2021, 19:40

                What's the most common cause of athlete's foot?

                Just curious.

                H Offline
                H Offline
                Horace
                wrote on 28 Jul 2021, 20:17 last edited by
                #308

                @mainermikebrown said in So....:

                What's the most common cause of athlete's foot?

                Athletes.

                Education is extremely important.

                G 1 Reply Last reply 28 Jul 2021, 20:22
                • H Horace
                  28 Jul 2021, 20:17

                  @mainermikebrown said in So....:

                  What's the most common cause of athlete's foot?

                  Athletes.

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on 28 Jul 2021, 20:22 last edited by
                  #309

                  @horace said in So....:

                  Athletes.

                  If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get....

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  L 1 Reply Last reply 28 Jul 2021, 22:19
                  • G George K
                    28 Jul 2021, 20:22

                    @horace said in So....:

                    Athletes.

                    If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get....

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Larry
                    wrote on 28 Jul 2021, 22:19 last edited by Larry
                    #310

                    @george-k said in So....:

                    @horace said in So....:

                    Athletes.

                    If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get....

                    If they get Olive oil out of olives, and corn oil out of corn...

                    Where are they getting baby oil?

                    @george-k said in So....:

                    @horace said in So....:

                    Athletes.

                    If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get....

                    If they get olive oil out of olives, and corn oil out of corn...

                    Where are they getting baby oil?

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on 28 Jul 2021, 23:01 last edited by
                      #311

                      The Mother Superior calls a meeting with all the nuns in the convent.

                      She says "Ladies, we have a case of ghonnorhea in the convent!"

                      One nun looks at another nun and says "well, Good! I was getting a little tired of Chardonnay..".

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Larry
                        wrote on 4 Aug 2021, 19:18 last edited by
                        #312

                        So......

                        I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer..,,

                        J 1 Reply Last reply 4 Aug 2021, 21:19
                        • L Larry
                          4 Aug 2021, 19:18

                          So......

                          I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer..,,

                          J Offline
                          J Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 4 Aug 2021, 21:19 last edited by
                          #313

                          @larry said in So....:

                          So......

                          I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer..,,

                          Who told you that? I'd like to meter.

                          Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                          C 1 Reply Last reply 4 Aug 2021, 22:12
                          • J jon-nyc
                            4 Aug 2021, 21:19

                            @larry said in So....:

                            So......

                            I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer..,,

                            Who told you that? I'd like to meter.

                            C Offline
                            C Offline
                            Catseye3
                            wrote on 4 Aug 2021, 22:12 last edited by
                            #314

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            Who told you that? I'd like to meter.

                            πŸ™„

                            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on 4 Aug 2021, 22:55 last edited by
                              #315

                              @jon-nyc said in So....:

                              @larry said in So....:

                              So......

                              I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer..,,

                              Who told you that? I'd like to meter.

                              Not telling.. you'd just try to inch your way into her good graces. So I'm afraid I must put my foot down...

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • J Offline
                                J Offline
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on 5 Aug 2021, 01:05 last edited by
                                #316

                                Termite walks into a bar and asks, β€œIs the bar tender here?”

                                Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                C A 2 Replies Last reply 5 Aug 2021, 01:11
                                • J jon-nyc
                                  5 Aug 2021, 01:05

                                  Termite walks into a bar and asks, β€œIs the bar tender here?”

                                  C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  Catseye3
                                  wrote on 5 Aug 2021, 01:11 last edited by
                                  #317

                                  @jon-nyc πŸ™„ πŸ™„ πŸ™„

                                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • J jon-nyc
                                    5 Aug 2021, 01:05

                                    Termite walks into a bar and asks, β€œIs the bar tender here?”

                                    A Offline
                                    A Offline
                                    Aqua Letifer
                                    wrote on 5 Aug 2021, 05:43 last edited by
                                    #318

                                    @jon-nyc said in So....:

                                    Termite walks into a bar and asks, β€œIs the bar tender here?”

                                    The bar is indeed tender for all debts, public and private.

                                    Please love yourself.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 5 Aug 2021, 15:58 last edited by
                                      #319

                                      A recent study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.

                                      And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with Carmel drizzle are more likely to be their victims.

                                      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

                                      C 1 Reply Last reply 5 Aug 2021, 19:39
                                      • J jon-nyc
                                        5 Aug 2021, 15:58

                                        A recent study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.

                                        And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with Carmel drizzle are more likely to be their victims.

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        Catseye3
                                        wrote on 5 Aug 2021, 19:39 last edited by
                                        #320

                                        @jon-nyc There, you see? Some things make perfect sense.

                                        Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • M Offline
                                          M Offline
                                          MainerMikeBrown
                                          wrote on 5 Aug 2021, 22:11 last edited by
                                          #321

                                          So....my front lawn is rather green because of all the rain we've been getting here in southern Maine lately.

                                          I'll have to mow it tomorrow.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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