So....

[Jolly]

So...

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there.

The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.

The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."

The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."

While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires.

They both scream, "What are you doing?!?" "Trying to get an adequate sample size!"

[jon-nyc]

What if UFOs are just billionaires from other planets?

[Larry]

I'm getting sick and tired of pretentious pricks trying to impress everyone by mentioning Mozart as if that makes them appear "cultured"...,,

When the assholes have probably never even seen one of his paintings.....

[Larry]

So.......

You'd think that by now Bon Jovi would be more than halfway there...

[Larry]

The most common cause of dry skin:

Towels

[MainerMikeBrown]

What's the most common cause of athlete's foot?

Just curious.

[Horace]

@mainermikebrown said in So....:

What's the most common cause of athlete's foot?

Athletes.

[George K]

@horace said in So....:

Athletes.

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get....

[Larry]

@george-k said in So....:

@horace said in So....:

Athletes.

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get....

If they get Olive oil out of olives, and corn oil out of corn...

Where are they getting baby oil?

@george-k said in So....:

@horace said in So....:

Athletes.

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get....

If they get olive oil out of olives, and corn oil out of corn...

Where are they getting baby oil?

[Larry]

The Mother Superior calls a meeting with all the nuns in the convent.

She says "Ladies, we have a case of ghonnorhea in the convent!"

One nun looks at another nun and says "well, Good! I was getting a little tired of Chardonnay..".

[Larry]

So......

I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer..,,

[jon-nyc]

@larry said in So....:

So......

I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer..,,

Who told you that? I'd like to meter.

[Catseye3]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

Who told you that? I'd like to meter.

[Larry]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

@larry said in So....:

So......

I just found out that the company that makes yardsticks won't be making them any longer..,,

Who told you that? I'd like to meter.

Not telling.. you'd just try to inch your way into her good graces. So I'm afraid I must put my foot down...

[jon-nyc]

Termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

[Catseye3]

@jon-nyc

[Aqua Letifer]

@jon-nyc said in So....:

Termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

The bar is indeed tender for all debts, public and private.

[jon-nyc]

A recent study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with Carmel drizzle are more likely to be their victims.

[Catseye3]

@jon-nyc There, you see? Some things make perfect sense.

[MainerMikeBrown]

So....my front lawn is rather green because of all the rain we've been getting here in southern Maine lately.

I'll have to mow it tomorrow.