So....
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wrote on 21 Sept 2020, 17:02 last edited by
So.. I asked my wife why brides at weddings were always dressed in white.
She said "Because she's happy. It's the happiest day of her life."
So I said "is that why the groom is always dressed in black?"
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wrote on 21 Sept 2020, 17:05 last edited by
I got so pissed off at my car's GPS system the other day that I yelled at it and told it to go to hell
2 hours later I pulled up in front of my mother in law's house....
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 10:54 last edited by
God said unto John, “Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life.”
But John came in fifth and won a toaster.
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 17:57 last edited by
So... times are A little hard right now so I will be selling nude photos of myself to make some extra money.
5 dollars each if you want one.
25 dollars if you don't...
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 18:38 last edited by
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 19:41 last edited by
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.
Does this website look familiar to you?
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 20:30 last edited by
Ha. No.
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 20:31 last edited by
Well, both of the jokes you posted today are from the top three jokes on this site.
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 20:46 last edited by
What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?
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wrote on 26 Sept 2020, 20:39 last edited by
A have real problems with speed bumps.
But I’ve been getting over them slowly.
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wrote on 26 Sept 2020, 20:41 last edited by
I got a new blindfold.
But I couldn’t see myself wearing it.
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What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?
wrote on 26 Sept 2020, 22:25 last edited by@Doctor-Phibes said in So....:
What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?
England has a new missile they named Civil Servant.
It doesn't work and nobody can fire it.
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wrote on 27 Sept 2020, 11:55 last edited by
In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen."
This means: “Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have sh*t in it."
The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Joe Biden. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied: "Use both hands."
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wrote on 7 Oct 2020, 21:22 last edited by xenon 10 Jul 2020, 21:22
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
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If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
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wrote on 7 Oct 2020, 22:43 last edited by
Sometimes at parties I walk up to people I don’t know, look them in the eye, and say “I just want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”
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wrote on 8 Oct 2020, 20:38 last edited by jon-nyc 10 Aug 2020, 21:23
Two rednecks were sitting on their porch, shooting the breeze, when a big flatbed went by with a full load of sod on it.
“I’m gonna do that once I win the lottery, Cletus."
“Do what, Jim?”
“Send my lawn out to get mowed.”
Only non-witches get due process.
- Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
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wrote on 8 Oct 2020, 21:20 last edited by
Hahahahaha
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Two rednecks were sitting on their porch, shooting the breeze, when a big flatbed went by with a full load of sod on it.
“I’m gonna do that once I win the lottery, Cletus."
“Do what, Jim?”
“Send my lawn out to get mowed.”
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wrote on 8 Oct 2020, 21:23 last edited by
So.... I saw a sign at a farm today that said "duck, eggs".
I was contemplating the use of a comma when it hit me.....
