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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 85.4k Views
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  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

    What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

    I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.

    KlausK Offline
    KlausK Offline
    Klaus
    wrote on last edited by
    #149

    @jon-nyc said in So....:

    What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

    I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.

    Does this website look familiar to you?

    1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nycJ Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on last edited by
      #150

      Ha. No.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • KlausK Offline
        KlausK Offline
        Klaus
        wrote on last edited by
        #151

        Well, both of the jokes you posted today are from the top three jokes on this site.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • Doctor PhibesD Offline
          Doctor PhibesD Offline
          Doctor Phibes
          wrote on last edited by
          #152

          What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?

          I was only joking

          LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #153

            A have real problems with speed bumps.

            But I’ve been getting over them slowly.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nycJ Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on last edited by
              #154

              I got a new blindfold.

              But I couldn’t see myself wearing it.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

                What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?

                LarryL Offline
                LarryL Offline
                Larry
                wrote on last edited by
                #155

                @Doctor-Phibes said in So....:

                What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?

                England has a new missile they named Civil Servant.

                It doesn't work and nobody can fire it.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • George KG Offline
                  George KG Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #156

                  In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population.

                  One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

                  The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen."

                  This means: “Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have sh*t in it."

                  The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Joe Biden. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

                  The rancher replied: "Use both hands."

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • X Offline
                    X Offline
                    xenon
                    wrote on last edited by xenon
                    #157

                    If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.

                    George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                    • X xenon

                      If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.

                      George KG Offline
                      George KG Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on last edited by George K
                      #158

                      @xenon

                      alt text

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #159

                        Sometimes at parties I walk up to people I don’t know, look them in the eye, and say “I just want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nycJ Online
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                          #160

                          Two rednecks were sitting on their porch, shooting the breeze, when a big flatbed went by with a full load of sod on it.

                          “I’m gonna do that once I win the lottery, Cletus."

                          “Do what, Jim?”

                          “Send my lawn out to get mowed.”

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                          • LarryL Offline
                            LarryL Offline
                            Larry
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #161

                            Hahahahaha

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                              Two rednecks were sitting on their porch, shooting the breeze, when a big flatbed went by with a full load of sod on it.

                              “I’m gonna do that once I win the lottery, Cletus."

                              “Do what, Jim?”

                              “Send my lawn out to get mowed.”

                              George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by George K
                              #162

                              @jon-nyc

                              alt text

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • LarryL Offline
                                LarryL Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #163

                                So.... I saw a sign at a farm today that said "duck, eggs".

                                I was contemplating the use of a comma when it hit me.....

                                George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Larry

                                  So.... I saw a sign at a farm today that said "duck, eggs".

                                  I was contemplating the use of a comma when it hit me.....

                                  George KG Offline
                                  George KG Offline
                                  George K
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #164

                                  @Larry said in So....:

                                  So.... I saw a sign at a farm today that said "duck, eggs".

                                  I was contemplating the use of a comma when it hit me.....

                                  Someone had to...

                                  I guess the yolk was on you, eh?

                                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                  LarryL 1 Reply Last reply
                                  • LarryL Offline
                                    LarryL Offline
                                    Larry
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #165

                                    So....

                                    Bubba was driving down the road drinking a beer when he spotted a police roadblock up ahead. He thought "oh crap, if I get caught with an open beer I'll be in a lot of trouble."

                                    Suddenly his eyes lit up, and he pulled off to the side of the road, finished drinking the beer, then peeled the label off the bottle and stuck it to his forehead, threw the bottle under his seat, and drove on up to the roadblock.

                                    A police officer looked at him and said "have you been drinking?"

                                    Bubba pointed to his forehead and said "nope! I'm on the patch......"

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • George KG George K

                                      @Larry said in So....:

                                      So.... I saw a sign at a farm today that said "duck, eggs".

                                      I was contemplating the use of a comma when it hit me.....

                                      Someone had to...

                                      I guess the yolk was on you, eh?

                                      LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #166

                                      @George-K said in So....:

                                      @Larry said in So....:

                                      So.... I saw a sign at a farm today that said "duck, eggs".

                                      I was contemplating the use of a comma when it hit me.....

                                      Someone had to...

                                      I guess the yolk was on you, eh?

                                      Yes. Because white is evil...

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #167

                                        A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

                                        So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

                                        After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.

                                        He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.

                                        So he asked the centipede in the box,

                                        "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."

                                        But there was no answer from his new pet.

                                        This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again,

                                        "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"

                                        But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
                                        So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

                                        The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.

                                        This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted,

                                        "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"
                                        .
                                        .
                                        .

                                        This time, a little voice came out of the box,

                                        "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my shoes on!"

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #168

                                          Eye doctor: Your test results came in.

                                          Me: Can I see them?

                                          Eye doctor: Ah, probably not.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          1 Reply Last reply
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