So....
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 19:41 last edited by
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.
Does this website look familiar to you?
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 20:30 last edited by
Ha. No.
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 20:31 last edited by
Well, both of the jokes you posted today are from the top three jokes on this site.
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wrote on 24 Sept 2020, 20:46 last edited by
What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?
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wrote on 26 Sept 2020, 20:39 last edited by
A have real problems with speed bumps.
But I’ve been getting over them slowly.
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wrote on 26 Sept 2020, 20:41 last edited by
I got a new blindfold.
But I couldn’t see myself wearing it.
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What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?
wrote on 26 Sept 2020, 22:25 last edited by@Doctor-Phibes said in So....:
What are the odds that two completely independent sources would post such shit jokes?
England has a new missile they named Civil Servant.
It doesn't work and nobody can fire it.
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wrote on 27 Sept 2020, 11:55 last edited by
In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen."
This means: “Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have sh*t in it."
The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Joe Biden. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied: "Use both hands."
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topic:timeago-later,10 days
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wrote on 7 Oct 2020, 21:22 last edited by xenon 10 Jul 2020, 21:22
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
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If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
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wrote on 7 Oct 2020, 22:43 last edited by
Sometimes at parties I walk up to people I don’t know, look them in the eye, and say “I just want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”
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wrote on 8 Oct 2020, 20:38 last edited by jon-nyc 10 Aug 2020, 21:23
Two rednecks were sitting on their porch, shooting the breeze, when a big flatbed went by with a full load of sod on it.
“I’m gonna do that once I win the lottery, Cletus."
“Do what, Jim?”
“Send my lawn out to get mowed.”
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wrote on 8 Oct 2020, 21:20 last edited by
Hahahahaha
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Two rednecks were sitting on their porch, shooting the breeze, when a big flatbed went by with a full load of sod on it.
“I’m gonna do that once I win the lottery, Cletus."
“Do what, Jim?”
“Send my lawn out to get mowed.”
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wrote on 8 Oct 2020, 21:23 last edited by
So.... I saw a sign at a farm today that said "duck, eggs".
I was contemplating the use of a comma when it hit me.....
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So.... I saw a sign at a farm today that said "duck, eggs".
I was contemplating the use of a comma when it hit me.....
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wrote on 8 Oct 2020, 21:39 last edited by
So....
Bubba was driving down the road drinking a beer when he spotted a police roadblock up ahead. He thought "oh crap, if I get caught with an open beer I'll be in a lot of trouble."
Suddenly his eyes lit up, and he pulled off to the side of the road, finished drinking the beer, then peeled the label off the bottle and stuck it to his forehead, threw the bottle under his seat, and drove on up to the roadblock.
A police officer looked at him and said "have you been drinking?"
Bubba pointed to his forehead and said "nope! I'm on the patch......"
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wrote on 8 Oct 2020, 21:40 last edited by
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wrote on 12 Oct 2020, 14:04 last edited by
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box,
"Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again,
"How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted,
"Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"
.
.
.This time, a little voice came out of the box,
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting my shoes on!"
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wrote on 12 Oct 2020, 20:30 last edited by
Eye doctor: Your test results came in.
Me: Can I see them?
Eye doctor: Ah, probably not.
