Toobin...

[George K]

There are so many witty titles I could have come up with for this story regarding CNN's Jeffrey Toobin, but, c'mon, man!

New Yorker Suspends Jeffrey Toobin for Masturbating on Zoom Call

The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin for masturbating on a Zoom video chat between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio last week. Toobin says he did not realize his video was on.

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,” Toobin told Motherboard.

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added.

Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker's biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts. There were also a handful of other producers on the call from the New Yorker and WNYC.

Both people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak freely, noted that it was unclear how much each individual person on the call saw, but both of the people we spoke to said that they saw Toobin jerking off. The two sources described a juncture in the election simulation when there was a strategy session, and the Democrats and Republicans went into their respective break out rooms for about 10 minutes. At this point, they said, it seemed like Toobin was on a second video call. The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued.

This, is CNN.

Toobin’s Conde Nast email has been disabled and he has not tweeted since October 13. He did, however, appear on CNN, where he is the network’s chief legal analyst, on Saturday. “Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,” CNN said in a statement.

[George K]

"The new game is to replace every new yorker cartoon caption with 'Jeffrey Toobin took his dick out on a Zoom call.'"

[Aqua Letifer]

5 WFH Mistakes You Should Try to Avoid - LinkedIn
This year's challenges have led many of us to transition to a remote work environment for the first time. Here are a few tips to keep in mind as your 9-to-5 goes virtual.
. . .

1. Don't Pull What Toobin Pulled. (But if You Do, Do it Off-Camera.)

[George K]

Here's what I don't get.

If you're going to whip it out, and do, well...whatever, why the HELL can't you have the foresight, decency and judgment to do it ALONE?

In the privacy of your bedroom, bathroom, or whatever place is private?

The only reason I can see is that there's some kind of sick desire to be seen. I don't buy the "I didn't know the camera was on" excuse any more than "the dog ate my homework." How gullible do you think we are?

Sick fuck.

[Aqua Letifer]

It's one of those things that's necessarily more disturbing the more questions you consider.

[George K]

Seen on Twitter: "Those Russians are amazing..."

[Mik]

@Aqua-Letifer said in Toobin...:

5 WFH Mistakes You Should Try to Avoid - LinkedIn
This year's challenges have led many of us to transition to a remote work environment for the first time. Here are a few tips to keep in mind as your 9-to-5 goes virtual.
. . .

1. Don't Pull What Toobin Pulled. (But if You Do, Do it Off-Camera.)

Or at least make sure it's yours, not Toobin's.

Honest to gosh, this proves my contention that no matter how stupid a thing is there is someone, somewhere who will do it.

[Optimistic]

[xenon]

I don’t think we’ll be seeing him around on tv much anymore.

He seems to have climaxed.

[George K]

@xenon said in Toobin...:

He seems to have climaxed.

Shot his wad, eh?

[Mik]

I love the one from Boris The Russian Facebot.

“Gives a whole new meaning to ‘tubin’.”

[Jolly]

When in doubt, whup it out!

[George K]

@Jolly said in Toobin...:

When in doubt, whup it out!

Could be worse. He could've grabbed 'em by....

[jon-nyc]

[George K]

[George K]

Toobin and Louis CK
Played pocket pool all the long day
When his neighbor they seen her
And they pulled out their wiener
Now both of them wished they were gay.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that...

CNN had a lame legal hack,
Who chose an odd time to jack,
Whipped out and seen by all,
Who said “my that’s awfully small”
Now both dicks won’t likely be back.

I dunno, I’m betting he’s back inside 6 months…

Toobin was working on Zoom,
And he booked a nice sex cam room,
He was spanking his monkey
And the cameras got funky
And now his job just went boom.

That’s on the theory he was sex-camming and mixed his cameras up.

Here, I think is the best of the bunch.

A horny old journo named Toobin
Was giving his willie some lubin’
While beating his meat
His joy was complete
Until he recalled he was Zoomin’

[Mik]

Snort

[Mik]

[George K]

Here's How to Avoid Accidentally Showing Your Genitals to Your Colleagues on Zoom

Please read and consider:

Consider avoiding having your junk out in the first place

Yes, this one is a little out of left field, but hear me out. You can’t expose your genitals to a room full of colleagues—some of whom you may have known and respected for decades!—if you take steps to ensure your genitals aren’t visible to anyone at all.

Clothing designers have known the risks of accidental genital exposure for years, and they’ve designed several innovative technologies to prevent it from happening. For example, they’ve invented pants, which are a sort of leg tube system that adjoins at the top and typically shield the crotch from visibility. They might set you back a bit; expect to pay at least $20 for a good set of pants. The good news is you can buy them pretty much anywhere. (You should probably own several, as the pants system isn’t necessarily foolproof with extended wear and tear.) With properly sized pants secured to your waist, your coworkers won’t be able to see your genitals no matter what you do, other than taking off your pants.

More at the link.

[Copper]

He will return to cnn

He will receive a heroes welcome

There is no such thing as bad publicity