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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. Dementia is a cruel condition.

Dementia is a cruel condition.

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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote last edited by
    #2

    Sorry for your loss Mark.

    We are losing my brother-in-law to Frontotemporal Dimensia at this time as well. He’s in his early 60s.

    "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
    -Cormac McCarthy

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    • RichR Offline
      RichR Offline
      Rich
      wrote last edited by
      #3

      RIP to your mother in law. It's fortunate she had family that was able to care for her/look out for her during those years. It's difficult to think about what happens for those who have no people on their side able to help.

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      • AxtremusA Offline
        AxtremusA Offline
        Axtremus
        wrote last edited by
        #4

        My condolences.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • MikM Offline
          MikM Offline
          Mik
          wrote last edited by
          #5

          Cruel indeed. Very loving of you to take her into your home. I know we had only moved my MIL to memory care for a month or so before she passed. It’s tough.

          “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

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          • RenaudaR Offline
            RenaudaR Offline
            Renauda
            wrote last edited by Renauda
            #6

            My condolences to you and your family, Mark. My father’s second wife, a WWII RCAF veteran, was stricken with a form of dementia that ultimately took her in 2008. He was with her at her side throughout.

            Elbows up!

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            • taiwan_girlT Offline
              taiwan_girlT Offline
              taiwan_girl
              wrote last edited by
              #7

              Hugs to you @mark

              Yes, dementia seems to be much harder on the care-givers than on the patient.

              I have a friend in the US (maybe late 50's year old) who has a mom with dementia. She is in an assisted living place like you mention. It is one of those "age in place" and his mom has moved through the stages (starting at independent apartment living) to the most intensive assisted living.

              He and his wife just found out that his wife was diagnosed with early dementia. :(. He said that while he really likes the place his mom is at and has received great care there, he realizes that he may be moving there sooner than he expected.

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              • Tom-KT Offline
                Tom-KT Offline
                Tom-K
                wrote last edited by
                #8

                Mark, sorry for your loss and sorry you had to go through that hardship.

                Flushing the toilet is like practicing the piano; you just cannot go too long without doing it.--Axtremus

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                • bachophileB Offline
                  bachophileB Offline
                  bachophile
                  wrote last edited by
                  #9

                  may her memory be a blessing, especially the good memories when she was cognitive...., take comfort in those and not the difficult ones at the end

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                  • C Offline
                    C Offline
                    cathys
                    wrote last edited by
                    #10

                    Mark - So sorry for your yours and Sarah's loss. It's like you go through two sets of mourning with Dementia - For the person who is no longer there and then again after they are physically gone. Hugs to you both

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • HoraceH Offline
                      HoraceH Offline
                      Horace
                      wrote last edited by
                      #11

                      That is a tough road. You did a good job with it.

                      Education is extremely important.

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                      • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                        Doctor PhibesD Offline
                        Doctor Phibes
                        wrote last edited by
                        #12

                        Mark, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know the pain that dementia brings. It's a truly miserable illness.

                        As Bach said, try and remember her before she was ill.

                        I was only joking

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