Make Alcatraz Great Again
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When we were a more serious Nation, in times past, we did not hesitate to lock up the most dangerous criminals, and keep them far away from anyone they could harm. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. No longer will we tolerate these Serial Offenders who spread filth, bloodshed, and mayhem on our streets.
He makes it sound like we have no federal prisons and he’s about to build the first one.
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Wait until the local shark population hears about this. They lust over the stories of yore passed down from generations of those silly humans that tried to swim for it to SF. Times were really good back then they say.
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ChatGPT:
Renovating Alcatraz Island to house prisoners again would be a massive, multiyear undertaking, facing logistical, legal, environmental, and political hurdles. Here’s a rough breakdown:
Physical Renovation Timeline: 3–5+ years minimum
• Structural restoration (many buildings are severely deteriorated): 1–2 years
• Modernization to current prison standards (HVAC, electrical, plumbing, fire safety, ADA compliance): 1–2 years
• Security infrastructure (cells, surveillance, fencing, control systems): 1 year
• Transportation infrastructure and staffing logistics: concurrent or 6–12 monthsTotal realistic timeline (including approvals): 5–10 years
Why the extra time?
• Environmental and historical reviews (Alcatraz is a national park and historic site)
• Legal challenges (from preservation groups, California state officials, civil rights advocates)
• Cost estimates would run into hundreds of millions of dollars, with ongoing logistical costs due to its island locationSummary:
Even with political will and unlimited funding, reopening Alcatraz as a functioning prison would likely take 5–10 years. Most experts would consider it more symbolic or performative than practical.
Want a breakdown of estimated renovation costs or reasons why it was closed in the first place?
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Interview with a still-living Alcatraz alum, Charlie Hopkins, 93:
