June and September Presidential debates called for

[George K]

From The Bee:

https://babylonbee.com/news/donald-trumps-7-debate-demands-revealed?utm_source=The Babylon Bee Newsletter&utm_medium=email

Details were still being ironed out, but it was confirmed yesterday that the world could now look forward to another debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. While Biden's list of conditions to agree to the debate made the rounds on social media, Trump's list of demands was not made public… until now.

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of Donald Trump's debate demands:

1. Benny Hill music must be played whenever Biden wanders around the stage: His aimless shuffling will be much more entertaining to the viewing audience set to "Yakety Sax."

2. Moderators have to be smoking hot: Not just attractive. They have to be hot. Smoking hot. At least a 9 or a 10. Or even better than 10, maybe. Debates are better with hot moderators. I can't look at a dog for 3 hours. That would be terrible.

3. Catering provided by McDonald's: Big Macs and Diet Cokes during every commercial break.

4. Lightning round: Featuring a wheel to be spun for prizes, including Trump Steaks, Trump sneakers, and Trump NFTs.

5. Sad trombone riff plays following every Biden answer: Wah-wah-wahhhhh!

6. Whenever Trump drops a savage diss, sunglasses lower from the ceiling and the words "Thug Life" appear onscreen: Don't worry, Biden won't even know it's happening.

7. The loser gets slimed: It's time to bring the genius of Nickelodeon to presidential debates.

When reached for comment, the White House would neither confirm nor deny that Biden had agreed to Trump's demands.

[Doctor Phibes]

@taiwan_girl said in June and September Presidential debates called for:

@George-K said in June and September Presidential debates called for:

No audience. I agree that having debates after people have started voting is wrong.

Agree. I also think that there should be a "mute" button. Once your time is up speaking, you cannot talk.

A trap door above shark infested custard would be better

[Mik]

Just slime them both and call it a night.

[taiwan_girl]

[taiwan_girl]

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/06/15/politics/trump-biden-cnn-debate-rules/index.html

Both candidates have accepted the network’s invitation and agreed to accept the rules and format of the debate, as outlined in letters sent to the campaigns by the network in May.

The 90-minute debate will include two commercial breaks, according to the network, and campaign staff may not interact with their candidate during that time.

Both candidates agreed to appear at a uniform podium, and their podium positions will be determined by a coin flip.

Microphones will be muted throughout the debate except for the candidate whose turn it is to speak. While no props or pre-written notes will be allowed on the stage, candidates will be given a pen, a pad of paper and a bottle of water.

Some aspects of the debate – including the absence of a studio audience – will be a departure from previous debates. But, as in the past, the moderators “will use all tools at their disposal to enforce timing and ensure a civilized discussion,” according to the network.

[George K]

Damn, no trap door or shock collar.

Otherwise, I'm good with these rules.

Disappointed that anti-Trump Tapper and Bash are the "moderators."

[89th]

Damn, it is RISKY to let Biden go 90 minutes without having any campaign staff being able to interact with him.

[Doctor Phibes]

I might actually watch these. I'd say there's a significant chance of something highly entertaining and/or excessively cringe-worthy occurring from either one or both of these characters.

[89th]

Definitely. It's sad they have to cut microphones, but such is the degraded political environment these days...normalized impoliteness.

[George K]

@89th said in June and September Presidential debates called for:

It's sad they have to cut microphones

Hence the need for trapdoors and shock collars.

Lord knows, we can't have one candidate call the other a "clown," or a "buffoon" to his face.

[Mik]

What I fear exactly - a world where people only behave because technology forces them to.

[Doctor Phibes]

It would possibly be more appropriate to have a naughty chair. They could electrify it for a repeat offence.

[Axtremus]

@Mik said in June and September Presidential debates called for:

… people only behave because technology forces them to.

Tech evolution:

Sticks & stones —> whips —> guns —> tasers/shock collars —> surveillance tech (networked cameras) —> drugs/medications —> neural implants

[Mik]

Once again, the point sails right over your head.

[LuFins Dad]

Link to video

[Copper]

@taiwan_girl said in June and September Presidential debates called for:

greed to accept the rules and format of the debate, as outlined in letters sent to the campaigns by the network in May.

What about the drug tests?

[jon-nyc]

@George-K said in June and September Presidential debates called for:

Damn, no trap door or shock collar.

Otherwise, I'm good with these rules.

Disappointed that anti-Trump Tapper and Bash are the "moderators."

What pro-Trump moderator would you like to be there?

[Copper]

@jon-nyc said in June and September Presidential debates called for:

What pro-Trump moderator would you like to be there?

3 obvious choices

[George K]

@jon-nyc said in June and September Presidential debates called for:

What pro-Trump moderator would you like to be there?

I'd like to see Megyn Kelly or Bret Baier.

[jon-nyc]

They’d be good choices but Trump considers Megan Kelly as anti-Trump and Brett is probably prohibited from moonlighting with CNN.