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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread

The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread

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  • bachophileB bachophile

    https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/09/style/smart-sex-toys-data.html

    ill just copy paste the pertinent parts for those without a nytimes subscription

    and i thought occasionally checking my garmin watch for my health stats was too obsessive

    Can you optimize an orgasm?

    After Melissa, a 35-year-old event planner living in Chicago, masturbates, she sometimes studies a chart that resembles the output of a heart rate monitor or that of a seismograph capturing an earthquake.

    The data is generated by her vibrator, the Lioness, which measures her arousal and uploads information about her orgasm patterns to the company’s app. The sensors embedded in the toy track her pelvic floor movements. With each involuntary squeeze and release of her pelvic floor muscles, the app displays a graph showing her rhythmic pattern in a series of peaks and valleys. She typically uses it in tandem with her other clitoral stimulating vibrators, so that she can compare the orgasms she experiences with each one.

    “I use it just as a data collection dildo, essentially,” said Melissa, who asked to be identified only by her first name because of privacy concerns. Besides the Lioness, she doesn’t own any wearable activity trackers, like the popular Apple Watch or Fitbit, but she says she likes “to have quantifiable information when I’m learning things.”

    George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by
    #1270

    @bachophile I wonder if she has tried a banana.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #1271

      GGAE6iEWoAApDFB.jpeg

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
      • George KG George K

        A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB

        That's a lot of information to swallow.

        AxtremusA Offline
        AxtremusA Offline
        Axtremus
        wrote on last edited by
        #1272

        @George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:

        A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB

        Lots of redundancy in the data, though. Once compressed, probably only a very small fraction of that 1,587.5TB will remain unique.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nycJ Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #1273

          image000000.jpeg

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • George KG George K

            GGAE6iEWoAApDFB.jpeg

            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins DadL Offline
            LuFins Dad
            wrote on last edited by
            #1274

            @George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:

            GGAE6iEWoAApDFB.jpeg

            Lucas once told/asked us “What’s the difference between a park bench and an adult black man? The park bench can support a family…”

            Now the same kid is VP of the Diversity and Equity Club at College. Where did I go wrong?

            The Brad

            HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply
            • George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #1275

              GGvsxuxWsAAUqwg.jpeg

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • George KG Offline
                George KG Offline
                George K
                wrote on last edited by
                #1276

                428603591_235968846250988_4973398357464772928_n.jpg

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • Doctor PhibesD Offline
                  Doctor PhibesD Offline
                  Doctor Phibes
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #1277

                  image.png

                  I was only joking

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • George KG Offline
                    George KG Offline
                    George K
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #1278

                    IMG_0229.jpeg

                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                    LuFins DadL 1 Reply Last reply
                    • George KG George K

                      IMG_0229.jpeg

                      LuFins DadL Offline
                      LuFins DadL Offline
                      LuFins Dad
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #1279

                      @George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                      IMG_0229.jpeg

                      Took me a minute…

                      The Brad

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nycJ Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #1280

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

                          @George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                          GGAE6iEWoAApDFB.jpeg

                          Lucas once told/asked us “What’s the difference between a park bench and an adult black man? The park bench can support a family…”

                          Now the same kid is VP of the Diversity and Equity Club at College. Where did I go wrong?

                          HoraceH Offline
                          HoraceH Offline
                          Horace
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #1281

                          @LuFins-Dad said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                          @George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                          GGAE6iEWoAApDFB.jpeg

                          Lucas once told/asked us “What’s the difference between a park bench and an adult black man? The park bench can support a family…”

                          Now the same kid is VP of the Diversity and Equity Club at College. Where did I go wrong?

                          Your kid is a VP of a DEI club at school?

                          Education is extremely important.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • LuFins DadL Offline
                            LuFins DadL Offline
                            LuFins Dad
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #1282

                            Technically it was an "Inclusion". He actually has little to do with it these days.

                            The Brad

                            George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                            • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

                              Technically it was an "Inclusion". He actually has little to do with it these days.

                              George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #1283

                              @LuFins-Dad said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                              He actually has little to do with it these days.

                              Typical vice-president.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • kluursK Offline
                                kluursK Offline
                                kluurs
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #1284

                                From a 15th century combat manual...

                                image.png

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • HoraceH Offline
                                  HoraceH Offline
                                  Horace
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #1285

                                  GSR

                                  Education is extremely important.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • LuFins DadL Offline
                                    LuFins DadL Offline
                                    LuFins Dad
                                    wrote on last edited by LuFins Dad
                                    #1286

                                    Were they in a Senate hearing chamber?

                                    The Brad

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • George KG Offline
                                      George KG Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #1287

                                      image.jpeg

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #1288

                                        Best double entendre I've seen in a long time.

                                        Well done, USPS. Well done.

                                        fuunny-pictures-9-27-22-1.jpg

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • George KG Offline
                                          George KG Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #1289

                                          IMG_0243.JPG

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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