The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread
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wrote on 10 Feb 2024, 06:07 last edited by
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/09/style/smart-sex-toys-data.html
ill just copy paste the pertinent parts for those without a nytimes subscription
and i thought occasionally checking my garmin watch for my health stats was too obsessive
Can you optimize an orgasm?
After Melissa, a 35-year-old event planner living in Chicago, masturbates, she sometimes studies a chart that resembles the output of a heart rate monitor or that of a seismograph capturing an earthquake.
The data is generated by her vibrator, the Lioness, which measures her arousal and uploads information about her orgasm patterns to the company’s app. The sensors embedded in the toy track her pelvic floor movements. With each involuntary squeeze and release of her pelvic floor muscles, the app displays a graph showing her rhythmic pattern in a series of peaks and valleys. She typically uses it in tandem with her other clitoral stimulating vibrators, so that she can compare the orgasms she experiences with each one.
“I use it just as a data collection dildo, essentially,” said Melissa, who asked to be identified only by her first name because of privacy concerns. Besides the Lioness, she doesn’t own any wearable activity trackers, like the popular Apple Watch or Fitbit, but she says she likes “to have quantifiable information when I’m learning things.”
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https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/09/style/smart-sex-toys-data.html
ill just copy paste the pertinent parts for those without a nytimes subscription
and i thought occasionally checking my garmin watch for my health stats was too obsessive
Can you optimize an orgasm?
After Melissa, a 35-year-old event planner living in Chicago, masturbates, she sometimes studies a chart that resembles the output of a heart rate monitor or that of a seismograph capturing an earthquake.
The data is generated by her vibrator, the Lioness, which measures her arousal and uploads information about her orgasm patterns to the company’s app. The sensors embedded in the toy track her pelvic floor movements. With each involuntary squeeze and release of her pelvic floor muscles, the app displays a graph showing her rhythmic pattern in a series of peaks and valleys. She typically uses it in tandem with her other clitoral stimulating vibrators, so that she can compare the orgasms she experiences with each one.
“I use it just as a data collection dildo, essentially,” said Melissa, who asked to be identified only by her first name because of privacy concerns. Besides the Lioness, she doesn’t own any wearable activity trackers, like the popular Apple Watch or Fitbit, but she says she likes “to have quantifiable information when I’m learning things.”
wrote on 10 Feb 2024, 13:26 last edited by@bachophile I wonder if she has tried a banana.
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wrote on 11 Feb 2024, 02:19 last edited by
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A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB
That's a lot of information to swallow.
wrote on 11 Feb 2024, 03:47 last edited by@George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:
A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB
Lots of redundancy in the data, though. Once compressed, probably only a very small fraction of that 1,587.5TB will remain unique.
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wrote on 13 Feb 2024, 17:14 last edited by
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wrote on 14 Feb 2024, 00:38 last edited by
@George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:
Lucas once told/asked us “What’s the difference between a park bench and an adult black man? The park bench can support a family…”
Now the same kid is VP of the Diversity and Equity Club at College. Where did I go wrong?
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wrote on 20 Feb 2024, 02:16 last edited by
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wrote on 22 Feb 2024, 13:10 last edited by
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wrote on 22 Feb 2024, 19:58 last edited by
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wrote on 24 Feb 2024, 18:51 last edited by
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wrote on 24 Feb 2024, 19:11 last edited by
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wrote on 26 Feb 2024, 20:31 last edited by
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@George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:
Lucas once told/asked us “What’s the difference between a park bench and an adult black man? The park bench can support a family…”
Now the same kid is VP of the Diversity and Equity Club at College. Where did I go wrong?
wrote on 26 Feb 2024, 20:56 last edited by@LuFins-Dad said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:
@George-K said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:
Lucas once told/asked us “What’s the difference between a park bench and an adult black man? The park bench can support a family…”
Now the same kid is VP of the Diversity and Equity Club at College. Where did I go wrong?
Your kid is a VP of a DEI club at school?
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wrote on 26 Feb 2024, 21:23 last edited by
Technically it was an "Inclusion". He actually has little to do with it these days.
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Technically it was an "Inclusion". He actually has little to do with it these days.
wrote on 26 Feb 2024, 21:29 last edited by@LuFins-Dad said in The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread:
He actually has little to do with it these days.
Typical vice-president.
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wrote on 26 Feb 2024, 22:58 last edited by
From a 15th century combat manual...
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wrote on 26 Feb 2024, 23:01 last edited by
GSR
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wrote on 26 Feb 2024, 23:51 last edited by LuFins Dad
Were they in a Senate hearing chamber?
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wrote on 28 Feb 2024, 03:10 last edited by
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wrote on 29 Feb 2024, 11:55 last edited by
Best double entendre I've seen in a long time.
Well done, USPS. Well done.
