See, now, this just sucks.
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@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
White Sunday, when the flowers bloomed
So brilliantly in May—
They rivaled dawn’s own gilded glow—
Such was the scene that day.Love this! I like it lots more than that Dickinson thing, truth to tell. Something mellifluous and, I don't know, inevitable and right about it.
@Catseye3 said in See, now, this just sucks.:
@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
White Sunday, when the flowers bloomed
So brilliantly in May—
They rivaled dawn’s own gilded glow—
Such was the scene that day.Love this! I like it lots more than that Dickinson thing, truth to tell. Something mellifluous and, I don't know, inevitable and right about it.
Thanks, but all credit due to the original—they built the house, I'm just trying my hand at bringing it up to code.
A good rule of thumb when doing end rhymes is to complete the couplet in a way that's both unexpected, and when viewed in retrospect, couldn't have been anything else.
That's the goal, anyway. Can't always hit it.
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@Catseye3 said in See, now, this just sucks.:
@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
There's no point in doing a translation if they have to look shit up regardless.
Why? What makes modernity so sacrosanct? The poets/minstrels of their time's work was as legitimate to them as ours is to ours.
You may have missed my point a bit. I'm neither criticizing the original work nor translations generally. I'm criticizing the execution in this particular case.
These were songs that were later written down—books were not the intended medium. As songs, the originals had a music to them that was an integral part of the performance. Doing a modern translation that ignores this is like baking a cake by omitting the flour. I don't know what you have when you do that, but it isn't what you're saying it is.
@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
I don't know what you have when you do that, but it isn't what you're saying it is.
I may have missed your point, but your point wasn't that clear until you explained it -- especially to someone like me who knows nothing about the subject.
So what then? If the written translation doesn't do it justice, maybe you could do a collaboration? Seems like that would be worth the effort.
Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka
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OK, just the first four lines:
夏木泛光辉
巨叶留長影
森林迎欢意
百鸟共歌鸣Yeap, no word-for-word there.
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@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
I don't know what you have when you do that, but it isn't what you're saying it is.
I may have missed your point, but your point wasn't that clear until you explained it -- especially to someone like me who knows nothing about the subject.
So what then? If the written translation doesn't do it justice, maybe you could do a collaboration? Seems like that would be worth the effort.
@Catseye3 said in See, now, this just sucks.:
So what then? If the written translation doesn't do it justice, maybe you could do a collaboration? Seems like that would be worth the effort.
Well, the thing is, academics always do this. Always. They ruin the verse. On purpose, because it doesn't matter to them. They're obsessed with words and etymology but not what the original was supposed to sound like. It violates the spirit of the thing, and simply because they can't be bothered.
I'm collaborating all right—with whoever wrote the original. Forget that other guy.
Please love yourself.
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@Axtremus said in See, now, this just sucks.:
OK, just the first four lines:
夏木泛光辉
巨叶留長影
森林迎欢意
百鸟共歌鸣Yeap, no word-for-word there.
Looks cool that way, though!
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@Catseye3 said in See, now, this just sucks.:
So what then? If the written translation doesn't do it justice, maybe you could do a collaboration? Seems like that would be worth the effort.
Well, the thing is, academics always do this. Always. They ruin the verse. On purpose, because it doesn't matter to them. They're obsessed with words and etymology but not what the original was supposed to sound like. It violates the spirit of the thing, and simply because they can't be bothered.
I'm collaborating all right—with whoever wrote the original. Forget that other guy.
@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
They're obsessed with words and etymology but not what the original was supposed to sound like. It violates the spirit of the thing,
While you were writing the above I was thinking about editing my own post for clarification. By collaboration I was thinking about a collaboration not with someone else who does what you're trying to do -- what for? -- but with someone who specializes in the music of the time.
If such exists. Is anything known about that music? Even an approximation? Because how would you know if what you come up with is accurate? It's not like they had Memorex back then.
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@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
They're obsessed with words and etymology but not what the original was supposed to sound like. It violates the spirit of the thing,
While you were writing the above I was thinking about editing my own post for clarification. By collaboration I was thinking about a collaboration not with someone else who does what you're trying to do -- what for? -- but with someone who specializes in the music of the time.
If such exists. Is anything known about that music? Even an approximation? Because how would you know if what you come up with is accurate? It's not like they had Memorex back then.
@Catseye3 said in See, now, this just sucks.:
@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
They're obsessed with words and etymology but not what the original was supposed to sound like. It violates the spirit of the thing,
While you were writing the above I was thinking about editing my own post for clarification. By collaboration I was thinking about a collaboration not with someone else who does what you're trying to do -- what for? -- but with someone who specializes in the music of the time.
If such exists. Is anything known about that music? Even an approximation? Because how would you know if what you come up with is accurate? It's not like they had Memorex back then.
Well, here's the thing:
Life back then wasn't like today. There were many regional differences when it came to ballads like this. Minstrels in your town might do it one way, minstrels in others might have used a different tune and altered the words a little or a lot.
Whoever wrote this particular version probably has his music lost to time, but it's a pretty straightforward ballad—period music could easily be attached to it.
As it happens, I know a handful of folks who could help me out with that and might even be interested in doing so. I might inquire.
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@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
This is, as far as anyone's aware, the oldest recorded story of Robin Hood.
https://mariahmccune.weebly.com/uploads/1/9/2/8/19282013/robin_hood_and_the_monk.pdfFirst you give us Kevin Costner, and now this!
Will it never end?
Of course, it could be worse - you could let the Brits have a go:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Hood_(1991_British_film)
They filmed this monstrosity where I got married!
I was only joking
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The only Robin Hood live action film that I remember seeing start to finish is this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Hood:_Men_in_TightsI found it quite entertaining.
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@Axtremus said in See, now, this just sucks.:
OK, just the first four lines:
夏木泛光辉
巨叶留長影
森林迎欢意
百鸟共歌鸣Yeap, no word-for-word there.
Poetry for squares.
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill
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@Axtremus said in See, now, this just sucks.:
OK, just the first four lines:
夏木泛光辉
巨叶留長影
森林迎欢意
百鸟共歌鸣Yeap, no word-for-word there.
Poetry for squares.
@Mik said in See, now, this just sucks.:
@Axtremus said in See, now, this just sucks.:
OK, just the first four lines:
夏木泛光辉
巨叶留長影
森林迎欢意
百鸟共歌鸣Yeap, no word-for-word there.
Poetry for squares.
五言绝句，five characters (five syllables) per line, four lines. It’s a classic form used as early as in the 汉 Han Dynasty and popularized in the 唐 Tang Dynasty.
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@Mik said in See, now, this just sucks.:
@Axtremus said in See, now, this just sucks.:
OK, just the first four lines:
夏木泛光辉
巨叶留長影
森林迎欢意
百鸟共歌鸣Yeap, no word-for-word there.
Poetry for squares.
五言绝句，five characters (five syllables) per line, four lines. It’s a classic form used as early as in the 汉 Han Dynasty and popularized in the 唐 Tang Dynasty.
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@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
This is, as far as anyone's aware, the oldest recorded story of Robin Hood.
https://mariahmccune.weebly.com/uploads/1/9/2/8/19282013/robin_hood_and_the_monk.pdfFirst you give us Kevin Costner, and now this!
Will it never end?
Of course, it could be worse - you could let the Brits have a go:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Hood_(1991_British_film)
They filmed this monstrosity where I got married!
@Doctor-Phibes said in See, now, this just sucks.:
@Aqua-Letifer said in See, now, this just sucks.:
This is, as far as anyone's aware, the oldest recorded story of Robin Hood.https://mariahmccune.weebly.com/uploads/1/9/2/8/19282013/robin_hood_and_the_monk.pdf
First you give us Kevin Costner, and now this!
Will it never end?
Of course, it could be worse - you could let the Brits have a go:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Hood_(1991_British_film)
They filmed this monstrosity where I got married!
